i cannot follow the instructions for putting on underwear

Do you even know how to put on underwear? If you are like me, you probably don't. At least you probably cannot follow the proper instructions. 

Curious? Follow along for the backstory.

Sue was texting with her sister, Heather, on Friday evening when this popped up. I swear that I am not making any of this up, and we have proof (later. below) that Heather wasn't telling porkies although she does author fiction and can tell a good yarn. This, however, is not one of those yarns.

(Heather) Okay, go pee before you read this. I ordered a pair of underpants from Amazon. They came with instructions on how to put them on: 1. Bundle the waist and pull it to the groin. 2. Insert the hips and pull up to the bottom of the navel. 3. Lift your hips, place your hands in your shorts, and put them in your hip pocket. 4. Pull it up until the navel is hidden at the end.

Oh, and they said, Thank you.

(Sue) Oh my dear, that is too funny.  What kind of pants did you order?????

Just a plain black pair with tummy control. I've managed to put them on all by myself for years

I'm now stuck on the third step. It's like a game of twister.

Too funny

Easy for you to laugh. Your hands aren't in your shorts searching for your hip pocket

Sue handed me her laptop to let me read what she was finding so hysterical before continuing texting with Heather.

I just handed the laptop to John to read the instructions and the puzzled look on his face was hysterical. I think he will probably want to blog this.

He's welcome to it. It's just so funny

To think all these years we've managed to put our underpants on without written instructions

Well, I need a rest after these gymnastics. I'm off to bed 

Just a little later.

I just rechecked and what I wrote is exactly what it says. I'm laughing out loud again.

As proof  that this is genuine.

Subsequently, Heather posted this to add to the mirth.

Like Ikea for underpants         I admit that the ad offered 'tummy control' which for me was a big selling point but I had no idea that bladder control would be an issue. I peed my pants laughing       I'm afraid to put them on because I'd have to reverse the instructions

Sue subsequently posted the following online for the benefit of her friends along with the instructions image. She repeats what Heather had written to her.

Now I have seen everything.  The order just arrived for underpants.  They came with instructions.  Yes, instructions.  Who knew that I had been doing it wrong all these years.  Number 3 really has me puzzled.  I don't know how to find my hip pocket while my hands are inside my shorts, while putting on my underpants.   I think I'll keep doing it the old way.

Then Sue commented on my reaction when I was reading it and trying to make sense of it. I think this may have been the funniest part for Sue. 

I must admit that these instructions had me in gales of laughter, but just seeing the puzzled look on John's face when I showed him the instruction, sent me into even more fits of laughter.

I have probably done it wrong my whole life, but then I am not sure because I am still overly perplexed by the instructions. Although I am still working on #2 — inserting the hips — it is #3 where I completely lose my way.

3. Lift your hips, place your hands in your shorts, and put them in your hip pocket.

Perhaps my problem is that I wear underwear that doesn't have hip pockets. However, if your underwear comes with such accessories, it probably all makes sense to you.

But from where would you obtain such a garment?