I Would Fain Open the Windows

During most heat waves, we are able to turn off the AC (the other AC) at some point in the night and open the windows as the temperature descends to somewhat more moderate levels. In this current oppression, which will last for about 4 days, the slight and fleeting abatement just doesn't seem to be worth it.

So, although I would have fain opened the windows last night, I didn't.

Unfortunately, however, the fan wasn't reaching me in bed last night, and I wasn't exactly comfortable. We have no ceiling fan in the bedroom which was designed without said facility for some inexplicable reason. But there is one in my little den, so I headed there and eventually got almost 6 hours sleep in my chair. I can be comfortable in my chair, so don't feel sorry for me over that.

I would fain sleep in my chair with some relief than in my bed without any.

Fain: I am using it deliberately because it is dictionary.com's word of the day.

Although I see such entries daily, I have yet to post about one, as far as I can recall. This is different, however, for it brings to mind an old hymn which, I don't think, has previously surfaced from the deeper recesses of my memory banks.

But this morning, I am remembering this:

Beneath the cross of Jesus
I fain would take my stand,

I looked up the words to verify my recollection, but my memory was spot on.

Back in the day, I sang this in deep reverence, but here's the thing. I didn't know the meaning of fain. What it means in the hymn is that I would joyously/willingly identify with and stand with Jesus. I guess that I always knew the general implication but, I never stopped to consider the specific meaning of the word.

The first link that I clicked to double-check the lyrics wasn't right. I guess fain is such an archaic word that they adapted the lyrics.

Beneath the cross of Jesus/ I find a place to stand,

Of course, that alteration diminishes the beauty and poetry of the original and does not connote quite the same meaning. But I guess since no one knows the actual meaning anyway, it doesn't matter.

Although I no longer attend church, the church music of my youth is powerful within me; songs and hymns frequently resurface and bring with them their often poignant feelings. I almost routinely sing these pieces mentally and sometimes audibly.

I do not sing out loud as often as I used to, for, although I never possessed a great voice, it has even diminished over time, and I hear my notes wavering in and out, and I am displeased..

How synchronous that this hymn would flood into my consciousness on a Sunday morning.

Here is a recording of the hymn for the record.