Tuesday, February 08, 2022

Perspectives on Aging

I see a post on social media about a 70-year-old couple. They are in hospital with cancer, or at least one of them has cancer. They are getting married, it looks like in side-by-side beds. I think, “How sweet for these old folk.” 

Then I think, “Hey! Wait a minute, I’m 75, or at least in my 75th year.”

When I look at it that way, and that hospital scene is out of my mind, my perspective shifts dramatically, like when I recently came across another socmedia post wondering whether all 70-year-olds should have to retest for driving licenses.

I commented that the poster must not be anywhere near 70 and, therefore, has a very erroneous impression about that it is like at that age.

I confess that I am no longer comfortable driving in cities, especially if I am not very familiar with the location. Part of that is that I have lived in smaller urban areas for all of my adult life. Another part is that I became more nervous after our care was totalled 8 years ago. It wasn’t in a city, and it wasn’t my fault, but it affected me.

That is a it of a digression, but I took that little side trip to show how we can assess ourselves and change our behaviours accordingly without outside rules being forced upon us. In other words, we don't require universal testing at 70. Our province does mandate a certain amount of testing and retraining at age 80, but it does not involve a road test unless they think it becomes necessary.


I am not sure I am onboard with that either, but it is what it is.

Meanwhile, I am self-aware and don’t feel the need to be retested to drive around our town or the nearby countryside. 

Well, this post ended up differently than it began with a 70-year-old couple getting married in a hospital. 

14 comments:

Marie Smith said...

You’re right. Someone not near 70 wrote about the requirement for road testing at 70. My MIL still drives. She’ll be 90 this year. She lives in a small community where she takes familiar routes in good weather. She trades her car every three years with a few thousand kilometres on it.

William Kendall said...

My father was past eighty five and decided not to continue driving on his own.

Patio Postcards said...

I think it's wonderful that those two in their 70's have found love & want to celebrate & join that love.

Of course one needs a license for marriage just as we need a license to drive.

I can think of many at 25 yrs that need a review of their driving abilities - of late, locally, there has been 6 charges of males in their early 20's (23-28yrs) charged with aggressive / threatening driving (road rage) because they chased down & assaulted the, in their minds, offending driver. Yes time to review their licenses.

Now back to love in the hospital, is it rice we throw or hand sanitizer?

Ed said...

I have always been uncomfortable driving in cities but then, I grew up in a county without a single stoplight and no parallel parking. I never even had to drive to get my license. They just checked my grade from driver education class, took my picture and issued me a license.

I have mixed emotions about driving requirements as we age. My grandfather realized that he wasn't safe driving anymore and quit cold turkey. My grandmother however, kept on driving long after she was safe to drive. We would gently point out when she pulled out in front of traffic, made illegal turns, etc. but that didn't phase her. We stopped riding with her and said that she needed to let us drive her if she needed to go anywhere. She just hated to give up that freedom. Finally after a half dozen years, I think she has finally given up driving for good. Had there just been some sort of driving competency test at some point, it would have been a lot easier on all of us. But I do realize that for every one of her, there are probably dozens who would have passed the same test with flying colors.

Karen said...

My 70th is rapidly approaching. Other than some fibromyalgia pain and arthritis, I really feel I'm on top of my game. I'm a much better driver than I was 30 years ago for sure.

Margaret said...

I read a headline about an elderly man getting mugged and when I read the article, he was 68! There is such a wide variety of 70 year olds (or 80s); some are vibrant and youngish and others aren't. Personally, I think that we "older" people are better drivers than many(most?) of the younger set.

PipeTobacco said...

I suspect a better approach would be for folks who have a set number of infractions in the period since their last renewal should be tested, regardless of their age…… 25, 50, 75, or 100.

PipeTobacco

PipeTobacco said...

The set number would of course have to be determined…. but off the top of my head, perhaps 2 or three would be a good number?

PipeTobacco

Red said...

At 82 I realize that I have to be more careful and driving is more stressful. Someone commenting about the ability of 70 years driving has probably got an axe to grind.

MARY G said...

At least they were not in the hospital because they had been in a car accident.
I have been driving, steadily, since I was 16 and am a confident and, I think, safe driver. Accident free. I do know that my reaction time and vision are not as good as they used to be and take that into account in how I drive. (Slower and more defensively than in my heady youth.) The only thing that phases me is the 401 through Toronto. I grit my teeth and pay the outrageous sum required to use the toll 407. I have been doing that since they built the thing, though, so it is only peripherally age related.
Several of my contemporaries are saying that they are now nervous drivers. I suspect that if we let ourselves, that kind of thinking is nerve making.

Jeanie said...

Age is bizarre. When I turned 70 it seemed old. I look at photos of my grandmother at 70, when I was 5. Even when I was born and she was holding me, she looked OLD. My dad looked -- well, not as old at 70, but pretty old. And yet I look at me and my peer group and I think "I don't look like my grandmother" and even though I have funky health issues, I don't feel old. OK -- I can't name many rap artists and when they announce music award winners, it's more like, "Who?" but I'm out there, doing things. I think age has changed a LOT during my lifetime. Our perceptions of it but also age itself -- health advances, social cues, so much in the past even thirty or forty years. I'm a little slower. I'm more careful at certain things and there's stuff that doesn't work quite as well as before. But I refuse to let that define me!

DJan said...

I drive less and less and let my friends drive me instead. I am into my eightieth year and can ride the bus for free, plus I have to walk to get there, so it's just right for an oldster like me.

Jenn Jilks said...

We need to be able to drive here, 5 km from town.
I spot seniors who shouldn't be driving in Perth. A lot. They are incapable of doing blind spot checks. They've forgotten rules. We don't know who has dementia, either!
I often wonder about JB, who never fully stops at a stop sign, nor does he stop, but keeps going if he's turning right at a 2-way cross street.

Jenn Jilks said...

P.S. I often read your comments to JB. You have his kind of wit.