Sunday Night: I sit in my chair feeling a bit down and in the proverbial dumps.
You know how it has been going here with me, never mind Sue, or at least you know a lot of it. You know about the shoulder. You know about the urological surgeries and complications of this year. I don't mention my foot often because that is chronic, but it is always present. You also know about the occasional sleep problems, such as on Saturday night when I was awake for the day after only about 3.5 hours.
I admit to having felt a bit sorry for myself as I sat there, a feeling probably exacerbated by extreme fatigue. This plethora of physical limitation sure wasn't my vision for how it would be in only my mid-70s. To be fair, I don't usually wallow like this, for I am not a complainer. But that was how I was feeling then.
As I wrote above, I was sitting in my chair having a bit of a pity party when the hockey game came on. Children were being introduced and coming onto the ice to stand with the players. They were kids who have been fighting cancer. Little ones and a few older ones.
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| Touching scene: some of the children in white, standing by the players during the anthem. Look at the phone lights. How chilling in a good way. |
Kids. Cancer. Hoo boy. Eyes leak a little. Get ahold of yourself, AC. You are so darn lucky in comparison.
- Eighth decade of good health: still good overall with just a few little issues to contend with.
- No cancer or heart disease.
- Have overcome the worst of the year's urology surgeries and subsequent difficulties.
- Shoulder is being attended to in physiotherapy.
- Comfy chair to retreat to when I can't sleep in bed.
- Usually after one bad night, I get sufficient sleep to function moderately well enough.
- Mobile despite the foot impediment.
- For the most part, I retain my marbles although some might debate that assertion.
Also: Sue has had a life of good health and appears to be rebounding, from recent surgery and fall, albeit slowly.. Kids are doing well enough in life, and grandkids are healthy and vigorous. Both kids and grands are supportive. And I have this little platform in which to express myself.
Overall, life has been good to me, and it still is.
Bonus: My doctor has called to review the XR and US results. I only have one partial tear in the rotator cuff apparatus (my word). Since it is only one tear and only partial, I won't require surgery.
!!Yippee!!
A pity party happens to many of us, often when least expected. You and Sue have had a run if medical issues, but when you weigh all the cons and pros as you did, AC, you are definitely on the plus side.
ReplyDeleteYep, despite the multiple complaints of old age (the gifts of age, as my dermatologist called them,) we have it pretty good.
ReplyDeleteGreat news on the X-Ray.
ReplyDeleteGrowing old isn’t easy but such a privilege for those of us lucky enough to experience it. My dad died at 60 and I think of him often as I adapt to the experiences of age. We are fortunate!
ReplyDeleteIt is OK to have a pity party once in a while as long as you don't go down the rabbit hole into greater depression. And YES, nothing will get you better perspective than seeing the challenges in other's lives!
ReplyDeleteCounting one's blessings is always a good idea, but harder to do when we are older and under several physical stressors at one time! But a bit of perspective is helpful. I too, when I think of some of the physical issues I deal with, tend to be morose. But then I think of how bad it COULD be, and what others deal with, and snap back to optimism. TG has just completed a book about a young soldier named Travis Mills. According to his web site, "On April 10, 2012, United States Army Staff Sergeant Travis Mills of the 82nd Airborne was critically injured on his third tour of duty in Afghanistan by an IED (improvised explosive device) while on patrol, losing portions of both legs and both arms. He is one of only five quadruple amputees from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan to survive his injuries." His courage and positive outlook are astounding. It's all relative. Still, I hope for better days ahead for you and Sue. I promise to pray daily that you will once again be able to get a good night's sleep. I think that would make a world of difference. xoxo
ReplyDeleteGood inventory there. Glad to hear you're mostly in the plus column. And I just decided that when I get gloomy (as expected due to weather to come) it's as natural as the grey days of winter. That is something to endure, cope with as best I can! So glad to have this outlet of sharing and support (blogging).
ReplyDeleteThat is good news.
ReplyDeleteI hear you about the pity party. Some days...
We've been managing cancer since 2013. My client has stage 4 prostate cancer, which is a foreshadowing of what JB will have. It makes me grateful that we are at this stage...
He had his Lupron injection today. We'll hope for another 3 months, have a PSA retest and another injection, if all goes well.
Kids with cancer or in war torn places trump anything we could complain about. But it's still OK to be frustrated and discouraged about our own situations. That is also John's diagnosis and as I'm sure I've mentioned before, he's benefited greatly from a steroid shot, PT and exercises to do at home.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I do the gratitude thing. You are right. Count those blessings.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. You have every right, certainly, to wallow a bit. It's just hard to go from being able to go and do, to having to contend with multiple issues, especially when your mind has a million things it wants you to do!
ReplyDeleteStill, onward you both go, and all of us out here are amazed that you are getting through all this with such stiocism.
Sometimes, I feel so sorry for myself, so you are not alone. As you say, there are those who are worse off than us. It's good to be honest and transparent, though. So glad you won't need surgery. Give it time. It will gradually heal.
ReplyDeleteI'll focus on the good news: no surgery required. Hope your team won the hockey game to cheer you up.
ReplyDeleteIt'a OK to feel down now and again especially after a run of health issues. No surgery is great news. You and Sue have done a great job dealing with all of that. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteMaladaptive mentality is best avoided. These are the transitions I will probably face in future. Take care!
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the "pity Party" AC and, I understand completely. When I have mine, I'm always glad when there is no one around to notice. It's good to know you are okay. I wish you all the best, my blog friend.
ReplyDeleteHave a nice "Rest of the Week!"
Bless you, AC. I needed to read this post! Thanks with Aloha
ReplyDeleteI often think the same sort of thing. Even though I'm paralyzed every day I'm alive is a good day!
ReplyDeleteWe are OK with the ups in life but find the downs hard to take.
ReplyDeleteMy eyes leak sometimes too.
ReplyDeleteDear internet friend, I encourage you to continue to tell your truth (even the harder truths) because in ways you'd never know, you inspire me.
It kind of puts things in persective, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteThat is excellent and welcome news, John. Keep yer chin up, as the saying goes. Also, it's not complaining. It's "telling it like it is." There is a difference.
ReplyDeleteProbably all of us can find more reasons to be happy for living than the opposite!
ReplyDeleteWhen you are dealing with chronic pain, day in and day out, it does wear on your soul. Truth be told, you (and Sue) have had an awful lot on your plates this year. You can be forgiven for your 'pity party'.
ReplyDeleteBut yes. There is always someone worse off.
I'm glad you don't have to have surgery.
I really appreciate your visit to my blog the other day and your thoughtful comment. That means the world to me! Wishing you well, dear blog friend.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear the good news! Definitely worth a yippee or two! :-)
ReplyDeleteAvoiding surgery is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm so happy for your results and that you won't need surgery. You're right that we should just stop and count our blessings instead of bemoaning what we don't.
ReplyDelete