Wednesday, September 23, 2020

The Glory and Agony of the Micro Nap

Beware all ye oldsters who click on the post, for I am here to warn you of and proclaim the dangers of micro naps.

To be clear, I refer not to short naps, the kind that I indulge in on many an afternoon -- naps that may be as short as 5 minutes or as long as 50. Whatever their duration, they are definitely intended sleeps.

No, no, no. It is the true micro nap of which I speak. The nod-off as it were. The kind of nap that sneaks up on you. This kind of nod-off  lasts for as little as seconds although it is hard to tell exactly how long it lasts because you um kind of sleep through it.

Oh, they're alright in the middle of the day. Such micro naps are the ones of glory (see title). In point of fact, I quite enjoyed a whole series of micro naps while I was awaiting the resumption of tennis on telly the other day. I would nod off, wake myself with a rude snore snort, and then do it all over again and again. After each snore snort, I would become aware of life going on around me, only to fade away once again, and then I would repeat the procedure.

These are the micro naps of glory (see title): these ones that occur during the day. But wives tell your husbands to avoid the trap at night, for those are the naps of agony (see title). 

But then again, you can't really stop them. They sneak up on before you know it. One minute you are watching telly, or YT, or listening to a podcast, or reading a book, and the next moment, you awaken yourself with an ugly snore snort. Quite possibly you do it again. You don't mean to but you do.

These micro naps reveal to you are obviously in need of sleep, you then get yourself ready for bed, and . . . you lie awake because . . . you have taken the edge off your tiredness. Getting back to sleep or actually onto real sleep may now take the agony (see title) of hours. (Don't ask me how I know this, for it is just something that I've been told.)

You now have a short night which leaves you tired the next day and ready for yet another series of micro naps come next evenfall.

These micro naps are a rather new phenomenon in my life as are the companion snore snorts . You see, I only snore during micro naps when the sandman catches me unaware and when I am on my back in/on my easy chair. In real bed and sleep, I do not snore. Ask my wife.


Marie Smith said...

My husband is the micro napper here. I sleep for hours at a time and enjoy it. A full night’s sleep is a rarity for me.

Great description AC.

Margaret said...

I can't nap. I always feel nauseated if I do, and can't quite come back to full awareness. The micro napping is a vicious cycle, isn't it? They do take enough of an edge off so that you're not tired enough to sleep soundly.

Kay said...

Hmmmm... not so with my husband.

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

I never nap, but Grenville is a pro at taking late afternoon naps on the futon with the windows open and the breezes blowing especially now. He also has his favorite blanket and pillow handy for cooler days.

Red said...

I can nap but I usually don't. I do the snore snort thing. It does rouse you with a jolt.

Jenn Jilks said...

We're off to another cancer treatment today. He was up at 6 for a 7:30 departure. sigh. He's up in the night several times. sigh. No wonder hubby has two naps a day!

Vicki Lane said...

I occasionally do the micro nap/snore snort thing. Most unladylike.

DJan said...

I cannot seem to nap. I also can't sleep on plane flights either, even long ones. I wish I could micro-nap. :-)