Searching for the Right Words

Yesterday, I found myself at sixes and sevens. It is a phrase that has come down to me that is probably common for people with British forebears. Perhaps everyone is familiar with it, though. I just don't know. What say you?

Wikipedia: "At sixes and sevens" is an English idiom used to describe a condition of confusion or disarray.

In my world, the expression doesn't so much refer to confusion but something more like, "I am not quite sure what I want or what to do with myself." Well, I guess that is a type of confusion, but perhaps, at loose ends would be even a more apt turn of phrase.  

Collins: If you are at a loose end, you are bored because you do not have anything to do and cannot think of anything that you want to do. In American English, you usually say that you are at loose ends. [informal]

That's close to it although I wasn't, strictly speaking, bored as such. I could think of things that I might have wanted to do but was prevented for one reason or another. Maybe I was experiencing ennui. 

Dictionary: a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.

No, that's not quite it either.

All of the expressions are on the verge of what I was feeling but perhaps not quite nailing it either.

To escape this feeling, however it should be described, I went up to the nearest bridge to take a photo of that tree, the one that turns colour early every year.

Alas and alack! It was not to be. The tree in question is the bare bones one on the point to the right. It is either done already or dying. I think it is a bit of both. Sadly.

Wiktionary: an idiom combining a pair of terms with similar meaning. The first syllable in each word is like a sigh; alas is from Old French meaning weariness; and lack is from Middle English meaning loss.

There was another tree, actually two, approaching full glory.

Remind me not to bother returning to that spot. The bridge was highly trafficked, and even though there was a sidewalk, I wasn't comfortable with trucks and cars whizzing by about two feet from my bottom as I leaned over to scrutinize the scenes in the viewfinder.

Back at home, once I was done with that little photoshoot, I once again found myself at loose ends, at sixes and sevens, and in a state of ennui.

Perhaps I was betwitz and between: wanting to do something but not knowing quite what that might be.

Dictionary: not fully or properly either of two things.