Dumb AC

When you get to the end of this post, you will know just how dumb I am.

First we review.

These → are the boots that caused my tumble last winter. Actually you don't have to wait until the end of this piece to evaluate my dumbness because back then I fell because I hadn't bothered to lace them up. I only went out front to do a little something or other. You can see what a pain they are to lace, so I didn't. Still, after Sue's great fall, it was not a smart play on my part.

Dumb, indeed.

So, I purchased a pair of slip-ons for just such an occasion. They are the brown boots in the following photo. The lace-up boots in that photo were Sue's new purchase. She can keep them laced and just slip them off and on by using the zippers at the sides. I find this to be quite clever. (Ignore the red shoes, they have nothing to do with this narrative.)

This is where we begin to get into the bountiful theme, for it took me two purchases to obtain those brown boots. The first pair that I ordered was either too big or too small (I forget which), so I had to reorder.

I was up to three pairs of boots although I did send one pair back. 

But wait, there's more. Especially wait to get to the part of my incredible dumbness at the end.

To carry on, that was last winter, but aside from slipping them on once or thrice, winter was beginning to wane, so I didn't give them much of a trial back then. This winter, I purposed to wear those still new slip-on boots in lieu of the lace-up pair, and I did just that one fine morning around town. However, by the time I got home from my errands I had a significant sore on my big toe on the left foot. So significant that it bled and took weeks to heal.

Clearly, or so I thought, this pair was not a good fit for my feet. I ordered another pair of slip-ons, but I could tell right away, just by wearing them in the house, that they wouldn't do.

If you are counting, or even if you're not, I was up to four pairs, the long-lace originals, the slip-ons that were unusable, and the two pairs that I returned.

Being a glutton for punishment, I then purchased one more pair. They are similar in function to Sue's boots, with both laces and zippers. I am pleased to report that they do fit well enough, so I don't mind wearing them. 

At this point I had two functioning pairs of boots — the originals and these lace-and-zip boots. I also had the ones that killed my feet, so Sue purposed to offer that pair on Buy Nothing. They were still in almost-new condition after all, and they might work for someone with a stride different than mine.

That's when she saw it and once more realized how dumb her husband is. For when she pulled back the tongue to find the size, she noticed something else — cardboard inserts in the toes of both boots. They were thin and took the shape of the toes, but there they were. Poor befuddled AC hadn't noticed and had worn the boots with cardboard inside. No wonder he wounded his feet. Pity the poor man.

With cardboard removed, I gave them a good test yesterday by wearing them to my physio appointment and then the grocery store. I can faithfully report that they were just hunky dory. 

To recapitulate: I have gone from one pair of boots to having three pairs and also trying but discarding two others along the way.

What a dummy am I: first to not lace up the originals, and then to not remove the cardboard from the replacement pair.

Dumb dee-dumb-dumb, Dumb.