Sunday, July 11, 2021

The Ugly Sister

Not too long ago, I wrote a post that I called The Addled Mind. It basically dealt with distractedness or absent-mindedness, which is certainly related to memory. So, when I saw a notification of a TED Talk titled, How your memory works - and how forgetting is totally OK, I was interested enough to click.

The actual presentation of the 22 minute video is less than 7.5 minutes, and that is followed by questions and answers which take another 15 minutes. Both are worth listening to IMO, but I know blog time is fleeting time, so this link will also pull up the transcript which will likely get you through the material more quickly if you wish.

To speed you on your way, here are a few snippets. I like the memory hook (or analogy) of The Ugly Sister (a few points down the list). It helps me to understand a little of what is going on when we can't come up with a name.

Our brains are not designed to remember people's names, to do something later or to catalogue everything we encounter. These imperfections are simply the factory settings. Even in the smartest of heads, memory is fallible.

[Using her personal experience of not remembering whether she has just driven over a bridge she explains that] The number one reason for forgetting what someone said, the name of a person you just met, where you parked your car and whether you already drove over a really big bridge is lack of attention. (She uses a personal experience of not remembering if she had just drive over a bridge.) 

[Sometimes we can't find a word, and] we often come up with a loosely related word instead, something similar in sound or meaning. These obliquely related words are rather unfortunately called the ugly sister of the target. 

Here's an example. I recently asked my boyfriend, "What's the name of that famous surfer? Lance? No, it's not Lance." He knew who I was talking about, but he couldn't come up with it either. We were both stumped. And turns out my blurting out the wrong name set my boyfriend's brain to Lance Armstrong, the ugly sister. Now, he was stuck in the wrong neural neighborhood and couldn't get out. 

The ugly sister also explains this phenomenon. Much later, once you've stopped trying to find the word, it suddenly bubbles to the surface, seemingly out of nowhere. Yes, that's it. Why does that happen? By calling off the hunt, your brain can stop perseverating on the ugly sister, giving the correct set of neurons a chance to be activated. 

One thought from the Q&A section (in my words), which you can also listen to or read: 

What can help your brain? It isn't crosswords because that mainly involves remembering what we already know, but it is exercise, learning new things, and getting enough sleep. (Oops, I think I'm in trouble.) Don't neglect learning new thing, because the older brain can definitely still do that.

Note: Thanks for asking if I'm okay. I am. I know that I post frequently, so it might seem odd when I miss a few. I haven't had much to say for a few days, and I don't have an overriding compulsion to post unless I do have something in mind. However, I know that it seems like it, and I confess that I do sometimes post anyway out of habit. lol


17 comments:

Marcia said...

I will have to take a look at that TED talk. As to learning new things I know I must be but I think my husband has me beat as he is learning Spanish (has been for years now) and teaching himself guitar (also for years). I hope doing a lot of reading would be challenging my brain. When we lived in MD at the retirement community there was a group that met called Brain Games. Both Dan and I would whip through the challenges while the older folks (maybe 10 years older) would struggle. The person leading it was a personal friend struggling with his own cognitive issues. When he offered the course again it was all the same things and not a challenge at all. We gave up going.
Glad to read you're ok.

Barbara Rogers said...

Well I for one have been worried about you...wanted to say I missed your photos, and whatever you had to say. So glad you were off learning about how to improve your memory. I had heard that, but do think Sudoku does much better at brain exercise than crosswords...mainly because I'm no good at either of them. I'll have to think hard to see what I can learn about at this stage! Welcome back!

Margaret said...

I always figure that people get busy, so I don't worry. I just wonder what's going on. Memory is a fascinating topic. I took a memory class at the University of Washington. Once I learned that everything was still there, but that the retrieval system is what fails, I devised some strategies to try to remember stuff. It's hit and miss.

William Kendall said...

I'll check that out.

DJan said...

Since I only post a couple times a week, since I was always trying to find something interesting to write about, I didn't miss you. But I'm always glad to see you turn up in my news feed. :-)

Marie Smith said...

Reassurances about memory at our age are always good.

Patio Postcards said...

Interesting info - thanks for sharing. I've enjoyed many TED talks over the last 18 months. I find the ugly sister phenomenon very interesting, I need to know more.

Ed said...

A few weeks back, my wife pondered aloud on the name of a person she rideshared with a couple decades back as we drove by her house. She said a name that wasn't right (the ugly sister) and we never couldremember it. Flash back to the last few miles of our vacation trip back home three weeks later and as we drove by the house, the name flashed into my mind and I said it aloud. It was late at night and probably no words had been spoken for several hours and my wife knew exactly whom, and what conversation I was referring too.

Goldendaze-Ginnie said...

I am a great advocate of making lists ... it helps a lot (when I can remember where I put the darn list !)
On a different note ... when I first started to blog in 2006 I posted every day. That went on for almost a year when I cut back. Now I blog every 5th day and it is so much easier and is a pleasure rather than a chore.

gigi-hawaii said...

Interesting post about memory. I have a pretty good memory and remember names quite easily, whereas David does not. I think it is a verbal thing. People who have high verbal scores tend to remember words and names better than those with lower verbal scores. My problem is numbers. David with his high math scores remembers numbers much better than I do,

PipeTobacco said...

The exercise component was really an eye opener for me. It has such a strong effect on me in reducing stress that for the stress reduction alone it is a glorious thing!

For me, I have always found crosswords, video games, and other puzzle things tedious after a very short spell. My wife can and does sit for hours doing those repetitive task sorts of games...... but they put me to sleep.

PipeTobacco

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

Thanks for the link and I watched the TED talk which explained many things. The example about forgetting why you walked into another room and then could not remember why? was interesting and I have heard there is a specific name for that happening. It has something to do with disassociating when leaving 1 room and entering another. Also when Lisa talked about how people can’t recall childhood events and suggesting they are in memory and would return if you were in the area again, isn’t always true. I have the same issue and no matter how many times I would be in my home neighborhood the memories never return. But, my younger by 3 years brother does recall family memories I cannot remember. Go figure.

MARY G said...

Yeah, I was starting to wonder where you were, I must admit. Neat article. Now alI I have to do is remember to go and read it.

Blondi Blathers said...

Timely (for me). Just today, after forgetting what I'd walked from the bedroom to the porch to do, I gave up trying to remember and went back to the bedroom -- as sometimes going back to the place where the idea originated reminds me -- while telling myself this kind of forgetting is no big deal and I'm not going to worry about it. -Kate

Jean Winnipeg said...

I was interested in the link but also in the jungle park photo---what is the story behind that.

Vicki Lane said...

Interesting talk. I am, and always have been, rubbish at remembering names and faces. Now I know why

Jenn Jilks said...

We
ve been having fun with memory issues here. I think my grandies are picking it up, too!