Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Falling and Failing

That was creepy and disturbing television. I am referring to the documentary on Prime about the Duggars but also Bill Gothard — Shiny Happy People

We have never really watched Reality TV, so we didn’t know the Duggars. Of course, we have heard of them and knew the basics: evangelical, big family, and a kid who is in jail for possessing child porn.

The character with whom we were familiar was Bill Gothard — the other guy who was featured. It was his teachings which seemed to have much to do with the creepy beliefs of the Duggar clan. 

You see, in the late 70s and very early 80s, we attended his Basic Youth Conflicts seminar on three separate occasions. After a day at work, we would motor down to Detroit every weeknight (for a week) and all day Saturday. The third time around was to take friends to the seminar.

Then we lost touch with Gothard. For one thing, I stepped away from the faith. That makes it sound like I must have fallen into sin and depravity, but the reality is that I simply stopped believing.

Four decades later, Sue and I were shocked to see what happened to Gothard soon after we were exposed to his teachings.

It’s the old story. A religious man has some success. He gains power and wealth. It goes to his head, and he becomes more extreme. Gothard was preaching a brand of misogyny although he wouldn’t have called it that, for you see, my dear,  he just wanted to protect women (poor brainless things) under the umbrella of their husbands’ righteous authority. There were, allegedly, even inappropriate sexual occurrences.

I won’t try to précis the four episodes, but I was appalled at the treatment of both women and children. A girl belonged to her father until the day of her wedding, and then she belonged to her husband. The punishment of children was sickening. The group seemed to be obsessed with spanking in order to break the childrens’ willful spirits.

It was pretty riveting and upsetting to us, especially because of our past connection with Gothard. Now, I am happy with being a humanitarian free-thinker. Indeed, those who say that religion poisons almost everything, do have a point.

Power, money, misogyny and sex. It’s where all the cults seem to fall . . . and fail.


21 comments:

roentare said...

Psychology and history just repeat themselves as long as human race survives

William Kendall said...

I consider myself agnostic, and it's mostly because of religious leadership- especially evangelicals.

When Pat Robertson died a few days back, I greeted the news with a smile.

DJan said...

Strange that evangelicals seems to go bad rather quickly. I don't know anything about this situation and don't care to learn, either. Thanks for the update.

Barbara Rogers said...

There's something so attractive about cults! If only those snakes in sheep's clothing had some kind of warning signs on their foreheads. Promises, promises, promises!

Ed said...

I guess I need to come out from under my rock as I have never heard of either. But then again, neither sound exciting enough for me to come out from under my rock so perhaps I'll just stay here for awhile longer.

gigi-hawaii said...

It's awful, isn't it? I am basically a Christian, certainly not a Muslim, Jew, or Buddhist. But I belong to no church, preferring to believe in God my way. Besides, I am not a groupie, so don't want to join a church community.

Marie Smith said...

I saw that documentary. I worked in Newfoundland Catholic schools at the height of the sexual abuse scandal. Nothing on the documentary surprised me. Been there…

PipeTobacco said...

The documentary seems accurate AND very disturbing from what I have read about it in a few places.

I agree that you are a humanitarian free thinker…but you may be surprised (or disagree with) that I also consider myself to be a humanitarian free thinker as well…. even though you also know I am deeply fond of my own Roman Catholic faith.

Religions of ALL sorts…. CAN be used in bad/evil ways. I doubt there is one religion ANYWHERE that does not have some folks in it who think and/or did horrible things in the “name” of that faith. Yet, IMO…. that is not the fault of the faith, per se, but of the individual(s) who used tenets (usually pseudo-tenets) of a faith in corrupted ways.

Most faiths (at least most I have some knowledge of) are filled with tenets of how to lead a life of kindness and service to others. Just because some folks corrupt those to do evil does not negate the intent of those tenets.

I believe I am very much a free thinker and a humanitarian and also a person who tries very hard to love the tenets of my faith.

In some ways I look at this idea as similar to the way we look at any group you may want to mention. Let us take for example, union workers. I am extremely in support of labor unions for they help workers have a better say in their wages and working conditions. But, if you look across history…. there are several examples of very corrupt folks doing illegal/corrupt things in the guise of the “name” of their union…. even murder. We can see easily how this sort of behavior is wrong….. but those wrongs do not mean Unions are wrong for folks that need them.

PipeTobacco

Margaret said...

The power of cults is terrifying--both the religious and the political. They permit so many atrocities and ignore any facts. Yet consider themselves moral and ethical?? Blows my mind.

PipeTobacco said...

In the above I state “love the tenets of my faith” but had meant to write “live the tenets of my faith”.

Liz Hinds said...

I don't know anything about this cult but I do know about the prosperity preachers who fly private jets and tell people to send them money. I have to wonder what bible they're reading.

Jenn Jilks said...

I think it important to understand what is going on out there, but I might avoid this one.

Jeanie said...

Definitely NOT my thing!

Joanne Noragon said...

Cults are simply mechanisms to terrifying ends. I have nursed family members through a cult.

Red said...

It's a very difficult process as you say to step away from the faith. There is every kind of pressure tactic used to keep people in line. Many people have had a similar experience to yours.

Debby said...

I am not a believer. It happened a couple years back in a zoom meeting. The old testament lesson was about God's army marching into a town and killing every man, woman, child and animal. God instructed them to do that because the people had married with other faiths. I said that they were not listening to God. There was quite a backlash. If God is a loving God, went my feelings on it, he would never give a command like that. In my mind, this mighty army were acting on their own repugnance, and we see this very same behavior playing out in our times over and over again. And one woman said, (I kid you not) 'God wants racial purity.' I said, "Nope. You're getting God mixed up with Hitler." I left the meeting, and it unfolded that the general consensus was that I had over reacted. I never went back. What I learned in the class combined with the lesson I learned that day, I just no longer believe in God. I believe in good though. I am called to be part of 'good'. Is good the same as God? I cannot tell you. Sometimes I think it might be. Other times, I think that they are two completely different things.

DrumMajor said...

SOOO glad you and Sue turned out to be wonderful, caring people. I didn't watch the show or recent "documentary" but just reading about the "leader" creeped me out. Linda in Kansas

Tabor said...

Having a vagina ruins your brain and that is why many religions only have men as leaders. I passed out of religion so many decades ago and found most of it a cult of the righteous against the rest of the world. The Catholic church has hundreds of years of sins to be forgiven. I did watch a movie called The Women about religious persecution, It was depressing and heavy on the message.

MARY G said...

Your post and the comments are fascinating. I did not know about this ' ult', but have read of others. Fanatics of any type are frightening, but the Christian mainstream positioning of a woman's place leaves a lot to be desired, even now.

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

While I certainly have heard of the Duggar clan, I was not familiar with the name of Bill Gothard, so thank you for the information. My upbringing was in the Catholic faith and while no longer “practicing” in terms if faithful religious attendance, I believe in a higher power, just not to the extent of what can be considered as cults.

Vicki Lane said...

The misuse of power is all too often the result of blind faith.