Mentalcaps

Do any of you have handicaps, or perhaps I should  write mentalcaps? Is there something that your brain doesn't process as well as most brains? I might have many mentalcaps, but I am thinking of one in particular this morning.

I seem to have a perceptual handicap in that I lack the ability to picture things that are not physically there in front of me. It’s not that images don’t float through my brain, say when I am reading or daydreaming, but I can’t fix on them.

I often try to have a short nap in the afternoon. It sometimes works, but they are always brief, about ten minutes if at all. It is in the stage where I am beginning to nod off that my brain sometimes presents me with a very clear image. I tend to see strangers, people whom, as far as I can tell, I've never known or even seen. They are suddenly and inexplicably present in my head.

On a recent day, I clearly saw an elderly woman, like no one whom I could  recognize, It took her a few seconds to resolve clearly, and then I could see her in detail. But as I began to say to myself, “Oh let me have a good look at this woman whom I can see clearly,” she began to dissolve. As soon as my conscious minds interfered, the picture started to fade around the edges, and she was soon all gone, and I could not bring her back.

On another day, my vision was that of a different lady. She was mature, pleasant and more middle-aged. She soon faded too.

In both cases, I could tell you more than I have about what I saw, but even as the image remnants pass through my mind, the details fade. The older lady was gray-haired, the younger blondish. The first was sitting, the second standing. The first was pale (I might have even seen her in black and white) while second was rosy-cheeked, wore glasses, and was standing.

As you can see, the visions are powerful enough to leave impressions even though I can't recount too many details for you. Once again, the harder I try, the more difficult it is to visualize them again. Otherwise, they might temporarily float by in a certain amount of detail. It's hard to explain, and I am doing it poorly.

I guess it makes sense that I am a more of a visual learner, but even when the parts are there for me to see, I may not see clearly how those parts fit together. This makes me a poor handyman. Once I realized this about myself, I pretty well gave up and left it to others. Sue can put things together much better, and we can hire out for other jobs. And don't ask me to draw something without a picture in front of me, not that I can draw well in any case, but I don't stand a snowball's chance without a reference.

Somehow, I have managed life despite this limitation, and I suppose that most of us are limited in some way. For example: I have probably known three guys in my life who could simply not carry a tune in  bucket. That must be frustrating, and I am glad that I can at least do that — not well and not in a way that anyone would want to listen, but I can more or less at least land near the notes, or I could at one time before my voice became a little less reliable.

Do you have a limitation that limit you to some degree? Can you sing? Draw? Do arithmetic? Spell? Organize? I imagine that you can read and write well enough if you're here, but some struggle mightily.