After getting upstairs, and before I could sit down, Sue came into my den trying to tell me something, but she couldn't quite manage.
It went something like this.
In all of our married life, all fifty-five, almost 60 years, you have never . . ., , , much laughter by Sue . . .
This was repeated, probably 4 times before she could get out the rest of it.
You see, I never leave toilet seat up. Never. Not even when Sue is parked downstairs for the afternoon, and I am up here frequenting the commode to rid myself of lunchtime tea because tea goes right through me. Typically, I will have to pee three or four times after a modest-sized cuppa. I know milady is bound to remain down there, and I could theoretically lower the seat, but something within me prevents me from doing so. Frankly, I almost always lower the lid as well. I don't know why; I just do.
So . . . I had never not lowered the seat. Never once. Not in 56 years.
But with all of my sneezing and blowing, just this one time . . . well . . I somehow forgot. Now, you see, Sue is prone to not bother turning on the light for a quick pee. I often tease her about peeing in the dark.
So Sue didn't notice, and Sue sat down . . . and down. Kerplop!
Why doesn't Sue turn on the bathroom light, you may ask. I can't explain fully, but I can tell you that she sees the world brighter than most of us. This is why you will seldom see her sans sunglasses in outdoor photos and even in some brightly lit indoor venues: certain restaurants, for example. I don't know that I have ever said this out loud, but I have often said it to myself: "Sue would wear sunglasses at midnight it there were a full moon."
Pretty good for 56 years, AC. Someone in this house is working on a similar record!
ReplyDeleteThat is a hoot. You are a wonderful couple.
ReplyDeleteJoe gets up 2, 3, or 4 times a night, and we have a light sensor. He never, OK, seldom, leaves the seat up! It's a blessing, I tell ya!
That's hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious, especially as Sue found it so as well!
ReplyDeleteI have Hubby well trained, (or perhaps I should say that his Mother did the training) and also never turn on the bathroom light at night!
That is a hoot. Thanks for that laugh! I sure loved it. I don't turn on the light to use the bathroom either, but there is a night light in there so it isn't ever really necessary.
ReplyDeleteOh I do feel for Sue, having at least once in the night when living with 3 dear sons at different times, had that cold awakening! But they did grow up, and one now is not only married to a woman, but has three daughters. As the lone guy in the household you'd better believe his seat lowering routine is well established.
ReplyDeleteI never turn on the light in the bathroom at night. I know where everything is. I've fallen in a time or two, but it is my own fault. I never turn on the light in the bathroom at night.
ReplyDeleteOh no, a midnight dousing!
ReplyDeleteThis is a good example of idiosyncrasy. I had to look up the spelling
ReplyDeleteThat's a good habit to have. My John is a sitter anyway so there is never a chance of me "falling" into the toilet when he visits. :)
ReplyDeleteNot a fun experience for Sue!
ReplyDeleteWhat a record! With all of your extra plumbing adventures I'm surprised you haven't earned priority over the seat placement. Maybe Sue can tolerate a little tiny night light in the outhouse. Or maybe she now needs one of those neon lit automatic bright lights that attaches to the lid; some detect motion. But which motion? The lids are down at my son's house; to keep the cats from falling in. Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteLived with a hubby and two boys but we also kept the lids down to keep the cats from falling in.
ReplyDeleteI have done exactly what Sue did. I don't turn on the light at night either because I can see just fine in the dark. It is a shock to find no seat and almost fall in. I can see why she was laughing.
ReplyDeleteThat is pretty funny. Now she can't say he NEVER forgets. I can understand why she was smiling, though.
ReplyDeleteOnly four times a day. You're lucky! LOL. Pixie is interested in food more times than that. And you're right, feeding too much at one time is a waste. I think it's very admirable that you put the seat down. And I'm also gratified that you pee as much as I do. Apparently! Normalize Me baby! Thanks for this amusing post Aloha
ReplyDeleteThe story perfectly captures the small but meaningful habits we develop over decades of marriage—the little, everyday courtesies that become second nature.
ReplyDeleteThe stuff of a sit-com episode!
ReplyDeleteMy poor brother in law spent many years in a house of women and that is one lesson he never inculcated. Our mother ignored it, I got even on occasion and my sister yelled at him every time, even in the middle of the night.
ReplyDeleteI have done the same, sat down without looking and the seat was up, more than once in my lifetime. Perhaps that is why, like you, I generally try to lower the seat when done at home. Out in public, I leave it where it is to minimize contact.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she'll turn on the light after this.
ReplyDelete'Kerplop" is one of the joys of married life, in my experience. However, when we designed and built this house, we built his and hers bathrooms. No more problem.
ReplyDelete