When we three photo amigos meet for coffee, Bob is always there first. In point of fact, he is usually so early that he has finished consuming his consumables by the time Nick and I arrive. Mind you, he usually drinks something other than coffee, perhaps chocolate milk, and that does tend to go down the hatch more quickly than coffee.
Traditionally, I arrive second — a bit before the appointed time.
Then comes Nick — a bit after the appointed time.
However, I have arrived a little later in the last two meetups. I have done this deliberately but not for any particular reason. Meanwhile, Nick has arrived a bit earlier than usual, so we have arrived at the same time.
When I walked through the door before him, I bought his coffee. The last time, he entered first and paid for my drink.
I recently observed that women tend to bring gifts to each other when they visit. I mentioned that, in my experience, men do not do this. However, it is also my observation that men are more likely to pick up the tab for each other and not quibble about who paid more or less than the other or even expect reciprocation at all.
Of course, this is just my casual observation and not exactly a scientific study, so it may or may not parallel your experience.
It's true. I've noticed it too. I have always assumed it's because women often have less disposable cash.
ReplyDeleteI mean to pay for everyone's coffees, meals, etc., at a table. But that doesn't explain the extravagance of gifting.
ReplyDeleteI don't bring a gift if I'm simply meeting someone. If invited to someone's home I will bring something.
ReplyDeleteNot doing much in the way of gifts. Perhaps because I see the same people so often. If a purchase seems reasonably within my budget, I'll offer to pick up the tab. Especially if that other(s) have done some favor recently (picked me up from car repair or ride to somewhere else.) My friends are kind of my family here.
ReplyDeleteVery thoughtful post. When I give someone a gift I always feel good.
ReplyDeleteI love how your little coffee meetups reveal such subtle, human rituals like the quiet dance of timing and who pays. It’s true, those simple gestures say so much about friendship without needing words or gifts. Men settling the bill without fuss feels like a kind of unspoken trust and respect. Thanks for sharing this thoughtful observation. I just posted a new blog entry too, would be lovely if you stopped by and shared your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI admit my friend and I, who regularly meet for ice cream, each pay for our own. Unless it's a birthday, then we treat each other. I think it gets more complicated if you go out for an expensive meal - and one person has three courses and drinks a lot and another has one course and drinks water.
ReplyDeleteIt would be an exceptional occasion for me to purchase a proper meal for someone, but coffee and donuts or the like are fine.
DeleteYes, I can agree that women do bring gifts for each other sometimes. Interesting observation.
ReplyDeleteThat is a very scientific survey!
ReplyDeleteYour observation rings true—those small, unspoken gestures among friends, like picking up the tab or arriving early, often carry more meaning than they appear to on the surface, reflecting a quiet kind of camaraderie that's just as valuable as any gift.
ReplyDeleteWell, it gets people talking and thinking.
ReplyDeleteInteresting observation. Also nice that you three have this routine.
ReplyDeleteOut for coffee with various friends here, we take turns paying. It works well for everyone.
ReplyDeleteI treat when it's someone's birthday and mostly pay for John since he does so much for me. I could never re-pay him.
ReplyDeleteI think I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteWe each pay for our own.
ReplyDeleteHmmm....I often pick up the tab for lunch or coffee when I meet with friends. Not always, but often enough. Many of my women friends are now single, and it is a nice treat for them is someone else pays. When out with any of my sons, they usually insist on paying and will grab the tab or arrange it at the register. Except the youngest! We have almost always had to pay or even pick up the tab for him. He is sooooo tight!
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband and I go out, I often pay because he kinda frets over the cost, or at having to calculate the tip. Even at a store he will disappear when we get to the register. Come to think of it, youngest son is my only son by this husband...like father like son?