Monday, January 23, 2017

AC Tries Religion

When I was recently afflicted, I found two positions that offered some relief. I began to think of one as the Catholic cure and the other as the Baptist cure.

This ↓ is me participating in my Catholic ritual.


Yes, this is where Sue often found me for about 4 days. One day, she was moved to take this photo. Don't I look pathetic?

Down on my knees like that in a most uncomfortable position, the cure engendered almost as much suffering as the malady. But it did serve to temporarily relieve the most odious of complaints at the time.

And keeping with the Catholic theme, I still bear the stigmata, as it were, a whole week later.



So the treatment worked as such, but it left me with its own version of pain. Very Catholic in my mind (no disrespect intended — just sayin).

For me, the Baptist solution was more efficacious without the residual discomfort.

To wit: I would take a bath. Did I say A bath? Well, I meant 6 baths. Per day. For 4 days. Baths as hot as I could make them.

But the relief! A bath would relieve the pain for an hour: sometimes less, sometimes more. And then I would ride out the buildup for a few more hours before I felt forced to immerse myself in almost scalding water once again.

I must say that the Baptist treatment offered more relief for longer at less cost and no stigmata. Not that I'm exactly a convert in the larger sense.

You are probably not too very sorry that I can't produce a photo of me receiving one of my many baptisms. I know I'm not either.


16 comments:

Debbie said...

ooooh how sad...did i miss what was actually wrong?? other than dehydration?? i use that same position when i have kidney stones. i don't get any real relief either but somehow i kept trying!!!

Ginger said...

You're too funny! Welcome to the ranks of those of us who've been immersed...

Kathleen's Blog said...

wow...you poor thing! Hope you are fully recovered by now.

Marie Smith said...

I hope you feel better soon, AC. Take care!

Tabor said...

That is being sick...very sick. So sorry and glad you are on the mend. Good photos to help us understand your pain.

Mara said...

Sometimes the positions we find ourselves in to get some moments of relief are quite funny to look at. By other people of course. We just want a few minutes (well, preferably all day) without pain, no matter what it takes.

Hope you're on the mend now and no more need for Catholic or Baptist treatments.

Karen said...

Oh no, is it the dreaded Norwalk? Seems to be in the air around here.

Shammickite said...

I feel your pain. And when I saw your poor old knees, my knees started hurting too. But I can't help having a little giggle at your Catholic cure.
I hope you're better now.

troutbirder said...

Have you considered morphine instead of religion? It helped me get thru a kidney stone attack until it "PASSED'.

Country Gal said...

Oh my goodness you poor thing ! I hope you feel better soon and try to drink more clear fluids so you dont have to go through this again . Sugary drinks like pop can cause dehydration as well as diet drinks . I now drink water with a slice of lemon and lime in for flavour to help hydrate you if you can stand drinking it . Take care and hope you never have to go through this again .

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

While I'm not sure exactly what the affliction was, John, the cure certainly doesn't;t seem much better. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Kay said...

Oh my gosh! What have I missed? Good gosh! I'm so sorry!!! This looks just awful, you poor thing.

Mage said...

Are you cured?
Does your local Y have a hot tub?
Ours does and it sure helps us.
So sorry about the rug burns.

Jenn Jilks said...

It's so sad, isn 't it? My granddaughter was sick a week, just a stomach upset, but home all week. Her poor working parents! I haven't had it this year. Knock wood. Just bronchitis for a month.Whatever!
Glad you're back in the land of the living.

Vicki Lane said...

I love your sense of humor! And hope you're better now.

MARY G said...

Aw!
Owie!