AC Tries Religion

When I was recently afflicted, I found two positions that offered some relief. I began to think of one as the Catholic cure and the other as the Baptist cure.

This ↓ is me participating in my Catholic ritual.

Yes, this is where Sue often found me for about 4 days. One day, she was moved to take this photo. Don't I look pathetic?

Down on my knees like that in a most uncomfortable position, the cure engendered almost as much suffering as the malady. But it did serve to temporarily relieve the most odious of complaints at the time.

And keeping with the Catholic theme, I still bear the stigmata, as it were, a whole week later.

So the treatment worked as such, but it left me with its own version of pain. Very Catholic in my mind (no disrespect intended — just sayin).

For me, the Baptist solution was more efficacious without the residual discomfort.

To wit: I would take a bath. Did I say A bath? Well, I meant 6 baths. Per day. For 4 days. Baths as hot as I could make them.

But the relief! A bath would relieve the pain for an hour: sometimes less, sometimes more. And then I would ride out the buildup for a few more hours before I felt forced to immerse myself in almost scalding water once again.

I must say that the Baptist treatment offered more relief for longer at less cost and no stigmata. Not that I'm exactly a convert in the larger sense.

You are probably not too very sorry that I can't produce a photo of me receiving one of my many baptisms. I know I'm not either.