Sunday, November 02, 2008

Our Own Strange Case

I had to agree with Chani in her deception piece the other day. In short, she had an interview and rather than be honest by telling Chani that she didn't think it would be a good fit, the interviewer was evasive.

What's so hard about telling the truth when people can more or less figure out your agenda anyway? But there is still doubt, for they wonder if they got it right or they're not sure what the problem was. In short, we tend to stew a bit and replay it in our minds, looking for clues.

We have our own strange case to contemplate. It happened to us last winter as we were checking out some restaurants/caterers for the girls' wedding. We went to one place and were greeted cordially enough and left saying that we didn't have time to actually sample the fare that day but that we would be back on the next.

When we got back, we were virtually ignored. She walked past our table, greeted others, but averted her eyes from Cuppa and me. She retreated into the back, and when we asked we were told that she was too busy to see us. Yet, when Cuppa went back into the restaurant several minutes later to ask about email addresses etc, there she was sitting at a table and chatting to her friends amiably.

So, what was it? Did she just not want to do a Gay wedding? Did we say something that offended her (although I can't think how)? Or ... well ... I just can't think of anything else. So why the cold shoulder? Why not be courteous and say that having thought it over, she didn't think she'd be comfortable catering this wedding (assuming that was the reason)? You would think that it would have been an easier alternative than making sure to avert her eyes and hiding furtively until we left.

Ya gotta wonder what motivates people to act as they do.


Mary said...

I can't believe (really I can) that a wedding caterer would be so rude to any prospective customer, no matter the reason. I am sorry that you experienced this. It seems prices continue to escalate and service goes down in many sectors.

If people would just be up-front, it would cause those who are looking for work a lot less hassle. Instead, they have to chose between waiting for a phone call and continuing to look for work.

Enjoy your Sunday.

thailandchani said...

Needless to say, we agree! :) Imagine what we could do with all that life energy if it wasn't spent having to look for "clues" for someone's behavior!

I can't imagine the behavior you describe, either!


Dora said...

Rarely is it about's about them and their inability or unwillingness to face their fears or nervousness and they hide behind excuses and averted eyes.

Oh, what it would be like if people could recognize themselves for what they are (good or bad) and just say, "this is me and this is what I'm willing (or not) to do."

as it turned out - the wedding seems to have been a huge hit and filled with incredible memories of the day. Best that you didn't get tangled with a caterer that can't look someone in the eye.

Simply Coll said...

I wonder sometimes if people know how hurtful their behaviour can be. To bad they can not see farther than the end of their nose.

Janet said...

That woman is going to lose a lot of business if she can't learn to grow up and act like a decent human being.
We had a similar experience - our dance instructors hired a photographer to take pictures of our little ones in their recital costumes. This was in May and we had to pay for them up front. After repeated letters, emails and phone calls which were all ignored, finally one of the parents sent a registered letter and mentioned getting an attorney, and she finally sent ME an email two weeks ago (6 months later) saying the pictures were ready and we could come pick them up. She was supposed to mail them (we paid for postage) and she lives in the next county. Given that there were four classes of students with 10-12 students in each class, she just lost the potential business of at least 50 families, plus all the families they are telling NOT to hire her. She might as well close the studio now.

womaninawindow said...

Maybe she was ashamed by her attitude. She should have been.