Thursday, November 29, 2007

Not One of The Boys

The other weekend when we were at the cottage, we dropped into the general store up at the corner. The owner was sitting outside wearing his orange hunter's cap shooting the breeze with a few of the locals. We once thought of moving up thataway, but it never worked out, and I felt glad that morning, for as I opined to Cuppa, I'd never be one of the boys. I simply can't imagine being at one with hunters and the ATV crowd.

I can't picture myself having a good jaw with the good old boys. It's not really about them, fine folk that they are. It's about me. I just don't do the aimless chit chat thang very well. Never have, never will. I like to do more than to be. Even with friends and sometimes even with family, I'd generally prefer to socialize around an activity (ie game) than sit around and try to think of things to say. I simply don't do well with social converse. It's difficult for me and my introverted brain.

Even today, when Cuppa and I went to the coffee shop after flu shots and before shopping this morning, a few older guys had met up at a nearby table. It seemed to be something that they normally do. Once again I commented to Cuppa because I just can't see myself ever being a part of something like that.

It make me wonder what life would be like on my own without The Cuppa. While I am pretty self-sufficient and capable in many ways, I do need friends. I don't need many, but I do need one or three. Even as a kid, I tended to have only a few good buddies and even then, one was much closer than the other few. But, for me, the older I get the harder it seems to get to make friends. Cuppa is pretty well my only pal now (especially now that we have moved away from Sarnia) and I have the kids who are pretty close, but the possibility of a lonely future still worries me sometimes.

On the other hand. I think Cuppa and I still have good years ahead of us, and way down the road, I'll be the first to go anyway.


Gina said...

I am finding that the older I get, the more difficult it is to make friends as well.

Pam said...

I've never been one to have more than a few good friends at a time, either. Neither has my husband and like you and Cuppa, we like to hang together and are very content with each other's company. Although I plan on beating the odds, given my circumstances, I can't help but worry for him.

ChrisB said...

When I retired a year ago I suddenly realised how most of my social activities revolved around work friends. The only problem is that I'm not included as much as before and as Gina says it's more difficult to forge new friendships as one gets older.

Simply Coll said...

Funny.. but now that you mention it.. all of my close friends have been close friends for years.. three of them from my high school years. For what ever reason, I think for many, it is hard to make new and deep friendships once we are older. I am not exactly sure why this would be.

p.s.. I think blogger is acting weirdly. It is only letting me comment with my blogger identity. Just in case you were wondering. :-)

Ruth said...

My grandma lived to 94 and had to make new friends as her old ones passed on. She went on trips with people much younger than herself and remained interested in others. It does take work, but social relationships are essential to our well being as we get older. I agree that we usually only have a few good friends at one time.

karla said...

I can relate to this, and as a fellow introvert, this is probably why I don't do well, or enjoy, mom groups, arranged social settings with strangers, and even running into people from my past. :)

I just feel much more comfortable with people I know in some way, shape or form...but thats a bit of a catch 22 when it comes to getting to know people.

Granny said...

I'm not bad in a small group (2 or 3) but awful at parties which I avoid whenever possible.

When I can't, I'm usually the one hiding behind the potted palm.