Saturday, November 09, 2013

How the Lowly Bagel Ruined My Life or at Least My Breakfast

When was the last time you had a good toaster? Its been a long time for me.

The problem for me is that my toasters of recent times toast unevenly. My main complaint is that they all seem to overtoast one side but undertoast the other.

Notice how the right slice is toasted more than the left slice.
Also notice how that side is not toasted evenly — burnt at the top, barely toasted at the bottom.

As far as I can tell, we are not just talking about my toaster, for this predicament seems to be the same in other houses where I have visited.

I blame the bagel.

Nowadays, toasters are made with wide slots to accommodate bagels. This is fine and dandy if your are a bagel sort of person. But, while I have nothing too very personal against these round edibles, I prefer ordinary toast.

But you see, the slot to accommodate the bagel wider that it needs to be for the bread. So . . . the bread leans to one side or t'other and, consequently, toasts unevenly. The tendency is for one side gets toasted, but not the other. Not properly anyway.

I know that the internal grabby things are meant to keep the bread aligned and in check, but THEY DON'T WORK! In point of fact, toasters don't work as well as toasters did 60 years ago. About how many things can you say that?


This has pretty well ruined my life . . . or at least my breakfast. (Not seriously: I wish Blogger would get with the times and support favicons such as winkies. This is another thing that diminishes my enjoyment of life. Not really. Geez, I need a winky again!)

15 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

you need a HUG! :)

i still prefer our 'not-as-good-as-before' toasters than the old-fashioned way of heating up an oven (or worse - a wood stove) then having to put a slice of bread on a fork near the heat source to brown it w/o it falling off the fork into the coils or coals. :)

Jimmie Earl said...

I agree whole-heartedly. My current toaster is a joke. It's a 4 slicer, and the slots are all wide enough to toast half a bagel. I don't eat bagels often, and when I do, I usually brown them in a skillet on top of the stove. Said toaster also has no crumb door on the bottom like the one we had 60 yrs ago at home, and the temperature or "light, med dark" settings are a joke, too. I should just pitch it in the trash bin, but alas, I still like a bit of toast with my peanut butter in the AM. Have you priced new toasters lately? Zounds!!!

Anvilcloud said...

Thanks Jimmie. Since misery loves company, I am delighted to know that you are miserable too. Oops ... still lacking a winky favicon.

Jackie said...

Hadn't thought about blaming the bagel. But that works for me!!
I put toast in the toaster at our home away from home last week. The bloomin' thing sent the toast into orbit when it popped up. AND...it wasn't brown enough. Out with the old and in with the new. Bought a new one....and I had to fiddle with the adjustment to get it to not burn the toast. Yep. It was a toast/bagel toaster. :))
Go figure!!
Sending you a smile,
Jackie

Ginnie said...

You make me feel so fortunate, AC. I have a very old toaster & it produces lovely toast. I'm not supposed to eat bagels so that's not a problem ! Lucky me.

Dimple said...

I bought a toaster, I guess about 5 years ago. Paid a medium price, maybe 20 dollars. It broke right away, so I returned it.
As I was complaining to the cashier about my toaster woes she said the 7 dollar ones work fine. So I bought one.
We're still using it. It doesn't toast evenly, but it does make toast when you want it.
I agree with you about the smilies!

troutbirder said...

Oh my goodness another crises here in the twentieth century. The get along go along people would say charred on one side raw on the other averages out to just about right. But really? Are there no standard anymore? Proper even toasting is a standard we most hold firm on. Stay with the cause and hold the course AC....

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

And this is yet another reason why we don't own a toaster. Our solution is to use the toaster oven to toast bread or muffins. As for bagels, there are no bakeries in our area that offer them or any other type of bread.

Donna said...

Not a fan of the bagel either...
Try laying the toaster on it's side...turns it into a mini-toaster...just saying... ;0)
hughugs

Regenia said...

My morning cup of coffee and this post make for a great start to a Tuesday!

Regenia said...

P.S. Would an English muffin help undo life's ruin?

ChrisB said...

There was me thinking it was only my toaster that did uneven toasting!!!

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

You're preaching to the choir here, I hate hate hate my toaster. It's not just a bagel toaster, it's a toaster oven, which is pretty great for baking chicken breasts in the summer when I don't want to heat up the house, but when it comes to toast, it sucks. I truly want to buy a new toaster, but like you, I do not trust anything out there to give me evenly toasted, tender in the middle toast. Very frustrating, as I do like toast. Just not MY toast.

Pearl said...

campfire and toasting rack to toast it up properly and evenly.

Hilary said...

Everyone needs a good winky once in a while... and evenly toasted bread.