Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Maybe I Really Am Dyslexic

A long time ago now, when I was still really a novitiate blogger, I wrote an entry called Saint Paul. One of the themes of that post was that I appear to be a trifle dyslexic, at least when it comes to mechanical things. I have always read well enough, at least to myself, but there are certain alignments of things that I don't seem to process very well. Then, about a year ago, I wrote about turning the thermostat on the fridge the wrong way. Unfortunately, my round-thing-turning-troubles are not ameliorating with the passage of yet another year.

The following picture depicts my latest defeat at the hands of said round things. The Mayo jar won't open (can you see the marks on it from trying?), and I've all but demolished the handy-dandy jar opener.

Mayo Jar

I really do know the righty-tighty-lefty-loosey memory hook and seem to be able to apply it perfectly well to hardware, but I can't seem to get the hang of it when it comes to round dials and lids. Just over the recent Christmas season, I wrecked the top to an expensive bottle of Bailey's by forcing it the wrong way. On the weekend, I turned the lid to the mayo jar righty-tighty before realizing the error of my ways making an adjustment — a too late adjustment, unfortunately. The damage had been done.

I had jammed the lid so tightly that nothing would budge it, not the rubber glove (which gives me a surer hand grip), or the super-duper-jar-opener. In fact, if you'll look carefully, you'll be witness to the fact that I applied so much force (little good did it do me) in my efforts that I managed to mangle and destroy said utensil (please observe handle). So, not only are we saddled with a useless and impenetrable jar of mayonnaise but with a broken jar opener as well.

As I said, I really get (no really!) that I should turn left to loosen things, but, somehow, I find it hard to grasp which way is which on a jar that circles forever around. I mean, it simply seems to my feeble brain that at some point left becomes right and vice versa.

I know that my lack of clarity in this makes no sense to the average reader, just as those ^&%$ lids make little sense to me.

12 comments:

Gina said...

I'm sure there is a possibility that your brain just fires incorrectly when posed with this type of thing. That sounds bad, doesn't it? But I didn't mean it to! ;)

Laurie said...

I have no problem with left or right on mechanical types of things, but as far as telling someone which direction to turn...left is right and right is "who knows".

Linda said...

I usually start turning the right way but when it doesn't open, I try the other way. Doesn't make much sense either does it?

Norma said...

I think it's the child safety thing. Today we had problems with three items--a new aspirin bottle--couldn't get the lid back on, shrink wrapped cat food--required a sharp tool to release the cans, and a bottle of vinegar. For the last item, my husband had to go to the garage and get pliers from the tool box, after I'd cut the plastic seal and it still wouldn't open. But the children are safe. They are 38 and 39.

Bonita said...

I have the same problem with changing light bulbs. Right or left, I cannot seem to remember. It helps to keep the light on.

Dale said...

As a young boy, I spent a lot of time with Dad in the garage repairing things. I was fascinated with cars. Dad taught me "clockwise to tighten" and "counterclockwise to loosen." It was Meagan who preached the "righty-tighty" hook, forty years later. Try thinking of those round lids like a clock face. And turn them counterclockwise when you stand at the counter. Bon appetit!

PBS said...

I'm bound determined to open lids of jars no matter what it takes but have a horrible time opening (especially a strange) door with a key! I'm finally getting the hang of opening my cabinet doors at the front desk at work.

Coll said...

I can sympathize. I too have a right and left dyslexia to the point where I wear different rings one each hand. One signifies my right hand.. the other denotes my left. I have used this tactic for most of my life and you would be amazed at how quickly I can glance at my hands to determine the direction.. right or left.
Don't think it would help much when it comes to opening jar lids, though. :-)

methatiam said...

Like the other Dale said, I picture a clock face on the lid. The past is opened and the future is closed. Going backward in time (counterclockwise) opens the jar, going forward in time (clockwise) closes it.

mreddie said...

I will complement you on tenacity though! We all have foibles of different kinds and to me it is a sign of good mental health when we can lift up these things and have a good laugh at ourselves. ec

pupski said...

I have the exact same problems - both with right and left (I do it all the time with screws) and general mechanical things. We recently had an induction into the metal work workshop at college and I found myself feeling very panicky around all that machinery.

like the new blog template - it made me reach for my gloves and put the gas fire on.

Leann said...

we all have little things we have problems with.mine is spelling and writing.the way some people handle it is they put a ring on their left hand and none on the right.then you know left from right.I have a rubber opener.it slips over the jar.if you can find one put a arrow on the way you should turn and you will never have problems.the mayo can last if you put it in some other container.and just so you know>WE love ya anyway.just shows us we are all human.God bless friend.oh my daughter had the same problem.she mixed letters up.Oh tap the top of the jar first and they uselly open ok.