Introvert Takes

A feed called Introvert Problems kept on popping up on my Twitter feed. Being an introvertish sort of personality, I decided to follow it. There is a lighthearted bent but, at the same time, there is also a somewhat keen take on a introvert's frame of mind.

Let's begin with this image, also taken from their Twitter feed, and we'll follow that with a few selected tweets (in italics) before concluding with another fun image.

When you’re an introvert, one of the worst things you can hear in class is, “break up into small groups with those around you to discuss what we’ve been learning in class.”

Imagine if quieter people asked loud people ‘why are you always talking?’ with the same confidence that they ask us why we’re always quiet

Friend: There’s somebody I want you to meet.
Me: I know enough people.

You know you’re an introvert when you go to the bar for the first time in months and all you can think about is your dog and how comfy you’d be in bed.

The reason I like staying up late so much is because between the hours of 1am-5am, the world is quiet and no one expects anything from me. I could stare at my wall for 4 hours and there would be no consequences. It’s so silent and calm. I love it.

Being an introvert, I’ve had more thoughts about how I would have a conversation than actually having a conversation.

I hate making plans with people in advance ... like idk if in 3 days from now I’ll want to be social or wrapped up in a blanket cocoon on the couch.

I’m always a safe person to cancel plans with, chances are I didn’t really wanna do stuff anyway.

People who say “go big or go home” seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, it’s literally my only goal.

The problem with being introverted is that there is no polite way of saying “I love you but I’m tired of being with you right now.”

I mean this from the bottom of my heart … if it’s textable…do not call me

All material from https://twitter.com/IntrovertProbss (Oct 30 - Nov 16)

Picking up Threads

I am picking up threads from other posts today.

I have talked much about winter although perhaps more often on FB or by making comments on others' blogs. In summary, it was a long and cold winter. But it's over, for on the weekend our temperature climbed to above 10°C/50°F for the first time since November 07 2019. That's 150 consecutive days below 10, which ties us for the 5th longest period. Strangely enough, we actually rose to double digits earlier than the other years (see table below), the latest date being April 24 in 1940. But we entered the single digits earlier than any other year except 1968.

It has been a pleasure to open the windows, at least sometimes, in both the house and in the car. For the first time in a long while, we took coffee to the park. While there was still too much muck and even a little remaining snow cover to make us want to stroll around, it was still a treat to sit and enjoy looking at the river.

Having just written that, I see that we have an overnight freezing rain warning. But it's just a glitch, folks. Honestly, just a glitch.

(Edit: I have since seen more information about even longer winters back in the 1800s, which apparently rank this one at about 15th in length.)

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You just never know who is going to read your blog. When I recently posted about last months reading, one of the authors that I mentioned caught it and sent me an email.

Thanks for reading PLAYED TO DEATH and mentioning it on your blog! If you'd like to read the second and third books in the Drayco series . . .

I hope you have a great year with your reading goals! I'm a little jealous, because you are way ahead of me right now.

Best wishes,

BV

Lawson's website: https://www.bvlawson.com/.

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Then, after mentioning introversion, I saw a this link directing me to 4 TED Talks on the subject.

I was already familiar with the first two talks. I first came across Brian Little (second talk listed) back in 2007 via a snippet on TV NEWS, and I posted about it back then. I was intrigued enough to follow up by purchasing a book by the other introvert interviewed in that segment: The Introvert Advantage, by Marti Olsen Laney, and I reported on it here.

Later, I saw Susan Cain probably via the same TED Talk that is listed first on the page. I also purchased her book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. Oddly enough, I don't seem to have blogged about it even though this introversion topic has appeared somewhat frequently on my blog, as witnessed by this search link.

I have just watched the third talk about activism and the introvert by Sarah Corbett. She begins the talk by recalling the time that she sought a peaceful withdrawal at a busy concert in a stinky outdoor toilet. She then proceeds to outline how introverts can be drawn into the world of activism in a quiet sort of way. Her understated style was at least partly responsible for helping to persuade Marks and Spencer to offer their employees fairer wages.

The fourth video on the page is not about introversion per se but an example of an introvert: Linus Torvalds, whose Linux software runs the internet and has changed the world. Basically he works by himself in a quiet corner of his house although he has also found ways to interact with scads of people — in his own quiet way, of course.

Introversion

I happened to turn on the news last night; I guess it was a sort of Sunday Magazine more than normal news. I was soon hooked by a segment on introversion. They started with a test. There were seven items. I remember two: are you a listener or a talker, and, do you tend to not know what to say in social situations. That last one wasn't exactly the way that it was put, but that was the general idea.

The results were predictable. At this stage of life, or any other, I suppose, I don't really need test results to tell me that I am introverted. However, I think I was a little surprised to be such a full-blown case because I think that I came down rather solidly on the introvert's side on all seven questions.

Just last week, at line dancing, I found myself in a typical situation. I was seated between two groups of people and was part of neither group really ... or both ... take your pick. What I was doing was listening to first one group and then the other. That has occurred to me often, for I am much more of a listener than a talker. And that's typical of the introvert. They did say that introverts can be quite adept at talking on-subject: able to carry on a meaningful conversation with substance but not so good at small talk or starting up a conversation that has lagged.

Although, they couldn't get into the topic in huge detail in a ten-minute segment, I begin to suspect that such personality traits can affect how we learn. For example: I can't seem to learn a new line dance in a group situation. Rather, I seem to need to take the steps home and process them in my own way — at my own speed and in my own time. And I seem to see a similar thing occurring with my fiddle lessons. If I am introduced to a new concept, and it can be quite simple, it seems to fluster me. However, when I take it home, I am very likely to get the hang of it without too much trouble.

According to this program, about twenty-five per cent of us are introverts, and it is often seen as almost a stigma or disadvantage. People don't always understand us or may think that we're stand-offish or stuck-up, but that's hardly the case.

I'd like to follow-up on this a little bit. One of the two people that they interviewed, Marti Olsen Laney, has written a book called The Introvert Advantage. The other, Brian Little, is a professor at McGill in Montreal and previously at Harvard. In the video clips of his lectures, you would not likely have guessed that he is an introvert, but he explained that we introverts can gear up for the task but would tend to need more recuperative time afterward. (I found this pdf about Professors Little at canada.com.)

This idea of introverts needing recuperative time was new to me, but it makes sense. In my last few years of teaching, I often felt it very important to shut my door for ten or twenty minutes at lunch time and bask in the luxury of some quiet moments before the next onslaught. I suppose this would be anathema to many of my pedagogical compatriots who would make a beeline for the staff room and the comfort of a social situation, perhaps venting their morning's concerns rather than meditating quietly as I would. That's not to say that I am such a hermit that I would avoid the staff room entirely. In fact, I'd probably head there for a while after I had enjoyed my respite of solitude.

I rather suspect that more than twenty-five per cent of bloggers might be introverts. We're better at writing in our space than talking in shared space.

Here is an excerpt from the article about Brian Little on canada.com.

After a lecture, he often escapes to a washroom, where he finds an empty cubicle, sits down, pulls up his feet so nobody can find him, and takes a long moment to reflect ... the washroom retreats bring momentary peace and restore Little's true nature.

"He once explained this to Peter Gzowski on CBC's Morningside, telling the famous radio host: "After a talk, I'm in cubicle nine." Gzowski confessed that, after a show, 'I'm in cubicle eight.' "

... It's a fine balance, he says, because introverts do make good professors -- or radio hosts -- attuned as they are to other people's cues, constantly scanning the room to make sure they haven't lost anyone.

... The risk is that they can burn out, because in a sense you're acting out of character. That's why we really need those restorative niches. When you're 'on' with that degree of intensity, I think you would burn out very quickly, unless you're able to find those quiet moments on your own.

The I of ISJT

It's official; I'm an ISTJ — Introverted-Sensing-Thinking-Judging —because personality.info has told me so. I've been meaning to take the test for years but alway found a reason to demure, mainly, I suspect, because the site wants you to register in order to take this little quiz and get the results. You see, I had been there previously, maybe more than once, but was off-put by this requirement. Finally, however, after KGMom's recent piece, I decided to forge ahead, regardless. What I found wasn't a particularly stunning revelation. I mean to say, one should know oneself fairly well after dwelling on this blue planet for six decades. I've posted the results are below and will ruminate upon them further down.



By George, I really am an introvert!! That's no surprise but the degree to which they have me pegged might give one pause. However, I could pretty well tell whenever they were asking an introvert/extravert (sic: they say extravert rather than extrovert) question. When there's only two choices, however, I found myself having to chose the inny response every time: hence the 100%. But that might leave the impression that I am a total recluse, fit only to dwell on a mist-shrouded mountain top, and such is not quite the case.

However, when I regard the list of introvert traits, it's just about bang on, so the test must be pretty darn accurate: energized by time alone; private; keeps to self; quiet; deliberate; internally aware; fewer friends; prefer smaller groups; independent; not socially inclined; enjoys solitude; thinks before speaking. My main caveat would be the part about enjoying solitude. To some degree it's true, and I suspect more so with me than many others, but I also like to have my loved ones around. A few hours of solitude manages to fill my need for alone time quite well, thank you very much. Mind you, when Cuppa and I are together in the house, we each tend to be off doing our one thing, so that's a type of solitude. However, I do find it comforting to know that she's there and that I can find her and greet her as often as my little heart desires. Which is sometimes quite often. Oddly enough that need for contact is more true for me than it is for her, who is supposedly more extraverted.

I think I'll stop there today and perhaps get back to the S, J and T in a subsequent post. Meanwhile, if you're new here, I have blogged about introversion previously: Introversion, and I'm an Innie. There may be some halfway useful information in those posts if you happen to be interested in this topic.

Body on the Grass

My past few blogs have been about personality and sociability, and I'd like to have one more kick at the cat before I move on to other fascinating topics — like what I had for breakfast this morning or how my corns are getting along with my cowboy boots.

First, let me say that sometimes I may over-emphasize something in an attempt to make a point, and I may have done so in the last two posts. While it is true that I am more reticent than verbose, it is also true that I'm not exactly a wilting wallflower. I can actually speak, sometimes intelligently; I did make a living at teaching for three decades, so I must be somewhat competent and confident in certain group situations. Mainly, however, I simply don't have the patience to happily endure situations such as the social function that I mentioned two posts ago, and life is too short to pretend.

Having got that clarification out of the way, I'd like to recount a recent episode that demonstrates how differently Cuppa and I tend to react to life's situations.

On Friday, Cuppa and I decided to walk downtown to the local bookstore that was celebrating its first anniversary. When it's non-cycling season we try to promenade on most days: certainly when it's not raining or we're not too busy doing errands and chores. Friday was a nice day without a lot of competing activities, so we walked.

Not too far along, just past our own subdivision as a matter of fact, I was rather startled to spy a body prone on the grass next to the sidewalk. In short order I determined that he was alive and resting from the laying of sod which the rest of the crew was still busy laying. My mind was already moving on to thinking that this might make an opening for Law and Order or some such program.

Just as I was beginning to ponder the possibilities, Cuppa interrupted my reverie with a semi-scream: "There's a body on the grass." Of course, she began to sort it out in the same way that I had, only verbally. You see, being an introvert (I don't like that somewhat pejorative term, but I'll use it), I had processed it all internally. I might have gotten to the point of actually mentioning the body, but Cuppa's shriek altered the process, so we'll never know. The point is that she, being much more of an extrovert, immediately began to verbalize what she was seeing and processing.

I think introversion and extroversion are determined by how our brains function. Supposed introverts probably process their thoughts internally quite a bit prior to verbalizing them; some extroverts actually process more as they speak. I'm sure there's a long continuum between deep introversion and total extroversion, but I think the general differences exist. The point here is that some people process their thoughts longer than others. For them it's instinctive to process internally; others vocalize much more readily.

Back to the narrative: we continued our stroll to the bookstore, entered and browsed. We sat for a while over coffee and first anniversary cake. It's a small place, so there was some conversation between us and the owners and the occasional other customer. However, come time to settle accounts and depart, the owner asked me if I was always so quiet.

That took me slightly aback because it's not as though I hadn't said anything; in point of fact, I thought I had carried my fair share of the talk. But I guess that everything's relative, and, apparently, I hadn't been particularly verbose compared to others.

You see, when your tendency is to process things quite a bit before you speak, you end up not saying as much as others. I actually noticed the body before Cuppa, but she verbalized it immediately and certainly beat me to it. Because she did [verbalize], there was some good humoured exchange between her/us and both the [resting] body and his comrades. It usually works like that: the introvert tends not to participate a lot in group conversations, for the extroverts are simply quicker to speak and jump in while the introvert is still cogitating. Consequently, he tends to sit back and just listen rather than try to force his way into the conversation. Actually, he's probably often quite happy to listen to what others are saying.

I'm not going to try to bring these ruminations to any grand conclusion, but I thought that the last two posts more or less begged for a little more reflection.

Best to Not Phone Me

I came across a tweet from someone with the word, Introvert, somewhere in their screen name. I thought that I had saved a screen capture, but of course, I failed. Truth is, however, I really blame it on a computer hiccup, for it was, indeed, hiccupping at that point. Regardless, the Tweet went something like this: In all sincerity, absolutely do not phone me if it is something that can be communicated by text.

This is pretty well the code that I live by, In fact, the whole family does although not all introverts. I, for example, will only phone if I need an immediate response, like if I am in the grocery store, am standing in front of the tomatoes, and am wondering if we might need some even though it isn't on the list. In that case I might call Sue for she could miss the faint buzzing of a text alert. Once I have the answer, we say a quick goodbye.

I also once called Danica after I dropped her off at night because I forgot to wait until I was sure that she was inside, which is something that I have done all of my life with my wife and daughters, and I wanted to make sure that she had gotten in safely. Of course, and also unfortunately, it still seems to be necessary to call the doctor in order to make an appointment although I would really like them to change that. And as I posted recently, Sue tried to call Heather about possibly cancelling our journey, for Sue, although not an introvert, but other than that almost emergency situation, she find phones intrusive.

I know that is not everyone's modus operandi, but it is the way we roll here in Anvilcloudia, where, of course, we do things the right way. If you do it any other way, you're wrong, wrong wrong, and almost pagans, as it were. 😊

Oh . . . I found it . . . but I am not going to rewrite the post.

Sensing, Thinking, Judging

As if there was ever any doubt, we have confirmed that I am an introvert but perhaps not quite as rigidly so as the 100% result from the quiz indicates. Apparently, I am also (i) sensing vs intuitive, (ii) thinking vs feeling, and (iii) judging vs perceiving. It is true, though, that the results in these categories is much more even with less that a 60-40 split in the first two areas and not much more than 60-40 in judging vs. perceiving.

Sensing vs Intuitive: One who senses is more practical, concrete and realistic whereas the intuit is imaginative, abstract and theoretical. Actually it's more than these traits, but I have chosen ones that I think were influential in placing me in the sensors category and keeping me out of intuition side. Supposedly, however, a true S tends to focus on details while I think that I tend to see the general picture. In that regard, I think I am more of an I, and it probably explains why the test declares me fairly close to the border line.

Thinking vs Feeling: This was very close to an even split, and when I look at the traits I find myself leaning toward the feeling side of the ledger, for I can identify with dislikes conflict, gentle, empathetic, and caring. But I can be fairly logical, rational and critical (meant in the academic sense as opposed to being critical of others, I trust), which probably nudged the results, ever so slightly, over to the thinking side. Possibly, on any random day, I'd get a different result in this category.

Judging vs Perceiving: I am pegged somewhat firmly at a judger because I tend to be good at finishing, organized, structured, scheduled, and I am responsible. However, I'm not over the top in any of those areas; there are certainly people who are a lot better at structure and scheduling than I am, for example. Also, I can certainly procrastinate like a true perceiver, and also like them, I tend to be adaptable and relaxed, and I like to keep my options open.

So there you have it; I am an ISTJ, an Examiner. I am definitely an Introvert but less definitively a Sensing, Thinking and Judging sort of guy. However, the site's synopsis of my ISTJ type seems pretty accurate: ISTJs are responsible, loyal and hard working. They have an acute sense of right and wrong and work hard at preserving established norms and traditions. Because of their deep sense of duty they are dedicated to everything they do and are very dependable. ISTJs care deeply for those closest to them.

This additional descriptor seems to fit me closely as well: While they generally take things very seriously, they also usually have an offbeat sense of humor and can be a lot of fun - especially at family or work-related gatherings. And there's also this: at work, ISTJs get things done on a timely basis. They honor deadlines, and they believe in thoroughness. A half-finished joy is not a job well done. As long as they can fulfil their responsibilities, they feel useful and thereby satisfied ... Their work does not have to be fun, but it has to count toward something productive.

I hereby request that the rest of the family to go to mypersonality.info and take the quiz. It doesn't take long and might provide grist for discussion at some future gathering of the clan.

I'm an Innie

This guy has recently been reading The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney. I first alluded to it back in March on this post called Introversion. I had seen a short feature on the news, and it interested me. I mean to say, I don't have that much longer to figure out who I am and why I am that way.

Laney calls us Innies, and we're that way because our brains are wired differently. Our neural pathways are different than those of Outies. They are longer, take a different route and involve different neurotransmitters.

You can see it on the following diagram from Olsen's book (no you probably can't, but if you click on it to see an enlarged view it in a new window, you can). The introvert's response pathway to a stimulus takes a longer route, has 7 stops, and ends up in a different place compared to the extrovert's shorter, 5-stop pathway.



Basically, if understand it at all (and I'm weak on technical stuff), outies require dopamine for stimulation and get this by being active. Innies, however, tend to feel good when acetylcholine is in play: "It affects attention and learning (especially perceptual learning), influences the ability to sustain a calm, alert feeling and stimulates a good feeling when thinking and feeling." You see? Outies tend to require social activity to feel good while innies require a calmer, more reflective environment to feel good. Isn't that interesting?

So, you see, we innies are simply wired differently. It is my understanding that introversion has nothing to do with nurture or being shy; it has to do with internal wiring. Introversion and shyness, apparently, have little or nothing to do with each other. Shyness has more to do with fear than with basic personality, and it is quite possible for extroverts to be shy. I was somewhat surprised to learn that.

What does it mean or matter? Well, the ever-perspicacious they say that knowledge is power. Sometimes we wonder why we are the way we are and we may think ourselves either odd or lacking or both if we are different than the majority. When we understand that we are not flawed but just different, we may learn to relax and breathe easier when we are placed in a typical outie situation: like one of the damnable social events that outies love so much. And we will certainly find ourselves, in outie-favored situations because they rule by majority. You see, seventy-five percent of people are extroverts.

It is by default and not by flaws in the nurturing process that we are different. If we're innies, we may have been programmed by society to think of our differences as fundamental flaws, but they are not. We innies are simply made differently, and we have their own set of strengths ... and weaknesses. As do outies.

Well, that's enough for one post. I think a major rule of blogging should be an adaptation of the KISS principle: Keep it Simple and Short, and I guess I have already violated that principle to some degree. Perhaps I'll follow this up at some point. I'm not sure.

Introversion, Addendum

Just a few brief additional thoughts to yesterday's post.

It's interesting to delve into personality types, isn't it? I have actually requested that the library reserve a copy of Laney's The Introvert Advantage for me. I don't expect it to appear anytime soon, for I'm 40th in line, but there is more than one copy in circulation, so it might not be too long either.

One thing that I didn't mention in the previous post about introversion was that they claimed that this was something that is hard-wired into us. It has to do with the construction of the brain, as I understand it. I had always thought that these sorts of things had more to do with nurture than nature, but it seems that I was wrong. I would think it likely, however, that nurture could certainly modify one's degree of introversion — or any other personality trait for that matter.

When I ponder my days of teaching and how much I enjoyed teaching English, I can see how personality may have come into play. Whether you discuss Shakespeare or a novel or a poem, there is always room for interpretation and the sharing of thoughts and ideas. As an introvert, I was quite happy to hear what the kids thought of this or that, and, as most of them were extroverts (apparently), I'm sure that many of them were pleased with the opportunity to voice their opinions. My other subject, geography, was more of a tell it type of subject, so it was probably less of a natural fit for both teacher and many students.

Evan's Heel

Although this post dovetails fairly nicely with the last two, it's actually been vaguely in my thoughts for quite a while now. It's about Evan, who is a very nice and extremely talented guy. I admire Evan a lot although I might appear not to as I use him as a bit of a whipping boy for the purposes of this post. Actually, the post isn't really about Evan; I simply use him as an example of what I think is a universal truth: that there is a very fine line between our personality strengths and weaknesses.

I taught with Evan, was his department head for six years. He was actually my main competition for the job, but I got it, and, although he thought he was the better candidate, he never harboured a grudge against me. He did rather hold some animosity against the people who made the choice, I think, but never made it personal between the two of us.

Evan was my antithesis: an extrovert of huge proportions to my introvert. Unlike the easily tongue-tied me who almost needs to write things out before he speaks, Evan's brain actually engaged when he began to speak, and could he ever speak! It wasn't vacuous verbiage either; he knew a lot about a lot and seemed to remember almost everything that he read. He was able to weave such interesting and diverse threads into his lessons and, somehow, always get around to the point. I once told him that I could give him any topic on the first day of class and that he could start with that topic, weave it into the course material in some magical way and keep going for the whole school year.

And that was the problem!

He could, in point of fact, keep it going for the whole school year, and — he did! Yes, he did! Believe it or not, he talked or lectured almost every minute of every period for the whole course. It didn't matter whether he was teaching a non-academic, freshman high school class or an advanced, senior, academic group, for Evan had one lesson plan for each and every day — talk ... and talk.

Every day, every period, a group of students would walk into his room and would sit down for the 75 minute session. Evan would open his mouth and begin to speak. He would speak for 75 minutes. This, folks, was not the height of advanced and perspicacious, pedagogical approaches. Students, especially the younger ones, are known to have short attention spans. Supposedly, teachers should find a variety of activities to keep their young charges fresh and stimulated. But that didn't concern Evan.

You see, he thought he was great, that the kids loved him and hung on his every word. He never clued into the fact that most of them were gone for about 70 of the 75 minutes. An introvert would have been more sensitive and read the cues better, but not Evan.

Don't get me wrong. He was wonderfully interesting — to me! a mature adult, who frequently listened in amazement from the department office just off the back of Evan's classroom. I constantly admired his knowledge and his oratory. He was truly remarkable but out of touch with adolescent reality and, in effect, the exact opposite of what he thought he was. For he was not the great teacher that he supposed — far from it. He was smart and talented but not a good teacher, not for secondary school level anyway. His brain and abilities dwarfed mine, but in one unfortunate year when we had to share a class (take turns — weeks on and weeks off), one of our lesser-light students once confided to me that while Evan was a nice guy, he never learned anything when Evan was in charge.

My point isn't to slag Evan, and I would feel simply awful if he ever read this, which he wouldn't. No, my point is this: that every person and personality type has his or her strengths and weaknesses and that it can be quite a challenge to maximize the former and minimize the latter. Evan had a rare gift, but, in my opinion, he abused it, and it actually became his achillies heel. It's easy to do. In my case, my introversion gives me the gift of being fairly self-motivated, self-reliant, and competent, but, on the flip side, I tend to let myself become too isolated and independent.

I think there really is a fine edge between any trait being a strength or becoming a weakness. It's my guess that most us us cross back and forth over that line. Perhaps awareness can lead us to spend more time on the good side of the line than the bad. And if you ever read this, Evan, I respect and admire you, for you am what I ain't.

About Me and Maybe You

A newer blogger friend has posted questions to help get to know one another. Here we go.

1. Where do you live? (Cite, State, Country, etc.)

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Actually just outside of Ottawa, but that's what I say to make any sense of my location to others.

2. What is your favorite way to communicate with others? (in person, telephone, eMail, text, etc.)

Not telephone. This is only partly due to hearing loss. I just don't love the phone. I will usually drive to something not far away when someone else would do it on the phone. For example: I will drop in to make an appointment to change my tires, which happens twice a year. I do the same with the audiologist. I will, however, phone the doctor for an appointment. You just can't drop in all friendly-like there.

Apart from that, anything will do, whether it be email, texting or social media. Texting, whether on messages (phone) or FB Messenger (phone or computer) is replacing email at quite a clip.

3. What is your favorite breakfast?

I suppose it is bacon and eggs, but we seldom do it. I don't think I ever fry up bacon for breakfast at home. We did go out for breakfast last week where I had bacon, eggs, hash browns, pancake and toast. 

This morning, I had oatmeal. They say that it is very good for you, but I confess to never studying up on the matter. To make it even better for my body, if not necessarily to taste, I usually make it with half water/half apple juice. I then add cinnamon and raisins and not brown sugar This makes me feel quite virtuous. I note, however, that just for today I am having it with brown sugar.

4. Do you have kids?

Well yes, two, but they are older than I was when we had them: quite a bit older as a matter of fact. At my age, you ask if you have grandkids. Yes, two: one of each. We live in proximity and see them fairly frequently.

5. Are you considered outgoing or introverted?

Oh, I am definitely the latter and have written about it.

In fact, when I did a search of my own blog, I was surprised by how often I have referenced it. There were 13 related posts. https://anvilcloud.blogspot.com/search?q=introvert .

That search (above) was primarily for my benefit as are the four that I highlight here. Introversion, The I of ISJT, Body on the Grass, I'm an Innie

I hasten to add that I am, a friendly enough person and am not particularly shy. Some of the posts above explain the difference. Try I'm an Innie for example. Heck, here's a snippet because no one will click.

Outies tend to require social activity to feel good while innies require a calmer, more reflective environment to feel good.

So, you see, we innies are simply wired differently. It is my understanding that introversion has nothing to do with nurture or being shy; it has to do with internal wiring. Introversion and shyness, apparently, have little or nothing to do with each other. Shyness has more to do with fear than with basic personality, and it is quite possible for extroverts to be shy.

6. Would you rather parachute out of an airplane or go “deep-sea-diving”?

I am not sure. I think I would like to go diving, but I am referring to just scuba diving such as looking at reefs and not deep sea diving. The other doesn't interest me. Neither does parachuting, for that matter.

Feel free to pick up the meme if you are so inclined. I am sure that most of us have written similar posts in the past, but both we and are readers change over time, so it doesn't hurt to do it again.

The Photographer's Brain

Jennifer says she is always looking up. She’s the curator of our museum, and the history of the town interests her. She finds some of our history enshrined at the top of downtown buildings. While buildings may be modified greatly closer to street level, the frontages near the top may very well reflect the original structure and, therefore, history. Sometimes, even the dates are inscribed.

Then there's Sue: when we walk together, she tends to look all around. She sees much. At night time as we stroll along, she might gaze into windows as we pass by and see wallpaper or a light fixture. She will likely just wonder about life in that house. And when we watch tv together, she sees the whole screen. For example: she might notice the earrings that the person in the background is wearing.

Meanwhile, being an introvert, when I walk, my natural tendency is to be absorbed in my own thoughts. Most likely my head will be down while I see almost nothing around me. When I watch tv, I lock on the face and eyes of the main subject(s) and more often than not miss the background or at least am only minimally aware of all that is contained therein. I wouldn't likely even notice the earrings on the main character who is front and centre, nevermind those on the lady in the background..

I am not proud of being this way, but it is what it is or is what I am.

But when I was asked a question in response to a recent post, the answer was easy.

This post and its lovely photos made me consider whether being a photographer and looking for (especially) natural beauty has made you see more than you would have otherwise. Oh, I am sure you would have been aware of the world, but would you have looked at it as often and as intently? What do you think?

The answer is an emphatic yes; I do, much more frequently, look at the world more intently than I might have in the past. Whether driving or walking, and with my camera or without, I often find myself seeing possible photos in my head. Mind you, this can drive me nuts, especially while motoring because there is, more often than not, no way to pull over and take a shot.

Obviously, there is still the natural tendency to lose myself within my own brain, but I also tend to have my head up more. Yes, I look about me more often and more deeply these days.

Poorer but with Richer Hearing

AC is thousands of dollars poorer today after bringing home his latest hearing aids yesterday. They cost quite a bit more than his first car and that is after a Black Friday sale (which is when  I ordered them) plus another discount because of my membership with CARP (Canadian Association of Retired Persons. Or is it People, and not Persons? Their website doesn't specify. I could carp on over that omission, but I am not that kind of guy. Unfortunately for you, I am the kind of guy who finds it difficult to resist an opportunity to pun.)

These tiny things, pictured on top of the lower centre box ↓↓ came in/with four boxes. (I am sure that my first pair came in one little package.)

Before you ask (or did you already?), let me splain, [Lucy].

One box was for the hearing aids themselves along with a manual and other things such as wax guards. 

A second contained the recharging base and cord. 

The long white one held the Connecting Clip which can connect me the Bluetooth devices such as my phone and computer, although once initialized I can hear future output from my phone without the clip. But the clip allows me both to remotely answer the phone and to speak directly through it. This will be very handy while driving although this introvert receives very few phone calls at any time. While I can and have answered the phone on my watch, it does involve more concertation as well as lifting the wrist, which may or may not be illegal. The watch doesn't always transmit the finest of sound either: sometimes, but not always.

The final package, the soft pouch, contains a medium to help dry the hearing aids if and when needed.

All my previous aids went directly in the ear, but these tiny over-the-ear devices are the preferred format now. I tried this type once before when they were also small but still a little bigger than these but couldn't get them to work without that squealing feedback. But they're even smaller now and insert into the ear differently and better.

Hearing aids have a lifespan of about 5 years, but I am hoping that these will last longer because they don't go into the moist and sometimes waxy ear (although I don't have the wax buildup that some have). They are also more easily repairable, and they are rechargeable. The capacity will diminish over time but I am told that the batteries usually last well for those five years, and they can then be changed although I don't know at what cost.

A Meaningless Memory

Last night, the author of the book I had picked up mentioned that he learned the books of the Bible at an early age. That triggered a memory. I don't mean a repressed memory or something that I had totally forgotten: just something that I hadn't remembered for a long time.

I recalled standing at front of the church, a fairly large one, and reciting that very same list: Genesis through Revelation. It seems to me to have been a challenge that was brought up in Sunday School when I was about eight years old, so I did it. One other girl also recited that day, and one boy and girl, slightly younger, recited the New Testament only.

I'm not sure why only two (or four) of us out of maybe a few dozen kids completed the task because I don't recall finding it at all difficult. My memory informs me that we had been given a keyring with 66 coloured cards attached, one for each book. No doubt, the cards were to be a memory aid, but I rather doubt that I used them much. I guess I didn't need to because I don't think it was difficult for me to learn and memorize things back then.

Oddly enough, as I recall it now, I also don't think it was difficult for me to get up in front of everyone. It seems to me that I just did it without fuss, muss or bother. Being onstage has never bothered this introvert too much although speaking up in certain situations might. I know; I'm strange.

There is absolutely no point to this post: no moral or lesson. It's just a meaningless memory that has now been recorded for however long Google keeps it in storage, which could be a long, long time, I suppose.

The Agony of Meetings

In my first few years of teaching, my department head would hold what seemed to me to be interminable meetings. They were mostly pointless, and after a day of teaching, I would find myself heading home late with a pounding headache.

In due course, I became a department head, but remembering those meetings early in my career, I can confess that I may have strayed too far in the other direction by holding vey brief meetings. Partly, it was also because we were in a bused rural school and many teachers carpooled, and I didn't like to keep other teachers waiting.

And then there were the department heads meetings. Thank the almighty that they were held during lunch hour under time constraints. The free lunch was also a bit of a sop.

But they were still an ordeal, held because it was expected by the principals' bosses. The material could have easily been covered by a one page memo, for they were never about gathering input from the staff but just about disseminating whatever the principals wanted to say or do.

And, of course, as I have shared many times, I am an introvert. I don't mean to bang on about it, but when FB showed me this link, 12 Things That Annoy Introverts, of course I had to click. Of the twelve points in the post, it was the one about meetings that jumped out at me and caused me to recall some of my experiences. In point of fact, I seldom experienced a good or worthwhile meeting. Unless maybe I ran it.

Meetings annoy introverts, especially when the meetings would be better off as an email or a group message. When meetings seem to have no purpose, they are even more annoying. If you’re working with introverts on your team at work, do your best to utilize digital communication before setting up endless meetings.

The problem is often compounded if the meeting is a last-minute or unexpected meeting. Introverts often look at their schedules for the day to determine when they’ll have time to get their work done alone. If their four-hour block of time is suddenly broken up by a one-hour meeting, they’re prone to getting annoyed.

Well, that is one take and true enough, but I can't really be sure that my dislike of meetings has much to do with introversion but rather with some bad experiences of tedious, low-quality events. I did not so much dislike the concept of meetings as I didn't appreciate the useless, time-wasting aspect of so many that I was forced to endure. By all means, call a meeting if there is a need, and if one has to be held just for form's sake because it is expected, then make it as efficient and worthwhile as possible.

Still Waters

When we left the arena after JJ's final hockey game, for the first time, I noticed that I could see the townhall steeple from the parking lot. (This first time sighting was at least partially explained by the fact that you can't see the steeple from all angles and does not man that I am totally clueless ... although perhaps I am, at least according to legions.)

So I said, "Oh there's the townhall steeple. I've never noticed that before."

Then Sue said, "Oh there's the townhall steeple. I've never noticed that before."

It's not that Sue is dumb. It's just that she hadn't heard me.

She hadn't heard me because I hadn't said it. Out loud, I mean.

Nope. I said it to myself.

Whereas, Sue said it to the world.

This is one example of the difference between introverts and extroverts.

It has happened before.

Like the time we were out walking, and I saw a body by the sidewalk. I quickly realized that the man was resting from the construction work that was going on nearby in the same lot.

No sooner had I processed the above — internally, of course — than Sue verbalized the very same thing.

Still waters run deep. Don't underestimate what goes on in an introvert's brain.

A Random List of Innie Traits

To continue the topic of my previous post, following are a number of random claims about introverts or innies from my reading of the book, The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney. Although I jotted a few notes earlier, I no longer have the book to verify what I have written below. The points are in my own words and represent my understanding of some material from the book and are sometimes more from my recollection than my pithy notes,, Therefore, I cannot always complete even a limited verification, and I confess that I don't purport to claim that Olsen actually said any of these things; they are my take or what I think that she said.

Innies tend to be low-energy creatures and require reflective time to re-energize, especially after expending energy in an outie environment.

We will tend to be slow in thought, word and action. We will even tend to walk slowly.

Because of our long neural pathways, we often need some sort of a hook to dredge up stored information, and it may even be that we have trouble finding a particular word. Open-ended questions such as, "What movies have you seen recently?" will tend to be met with blank stares. However, "Did you see Harry Potter and what did you think of it?" will probably contain enough of a trigger to bring various thoughts and recollections to the surface.

It seems that innies may tend to hum, whistle or sing to themselves. I know that I do. Believe it or not, she sees it as a way to create energy. Since I no longer have the book, I can't explain how that is supposed to work, not for the life of me.

We are poor at small talk but will often converse at length on topics of substance that we may know something about.

Talking can be harder for introverts because we like to reflect before we speak. Extroverts, on the other hand, will tend to use speech as a pathway to thought; talking will often help them to clarify what they think.

Although I suspect that all people do this to some extent, it is probably also true that innies will more frequently tend to mentally replay scenes and think of things they could have or should have said at the time.

Introverts tend to have only a few good friends. While an outie may consider you a friend after a short, casual conversation, an innie won't likely consider you an genuine friend until he or she has known you for a while and shared some meaningful moments with you.

However, innies tend to be very loyal friends.

We innies are not antisocial people, but crowds may make us uncomfortable. It's difficult for us to cope with all of the external bombardment. Look for us on the balcony or in the cloakroom of the next party that you attend. Remember, unlike outies, who will be stimulated by crowds, we get our energy from quiet reflection. It may be totally opposite for an outie; he or she may become easily bored when there is not much activity going on and actually require external stimulus to feel energized.

There is actually a gene called D4DR (I think that was the name) that can be long or short. Introverts seem to have the short variation, which appears to make one sensitive to dopamine. Therefore, we don't need to experience the same number of external stimuli as an outie to get a hit (for want of a better expression).

We tend to explore a subject of interest in some depth while an outie will tend to dabble more superficially in many topics. This is also true in social situations where outies may be seen enjoying many, brief conversations while innies will more likely have longer conversations with fewer people.

Another Personality Test

I picked this one up from Ms Cellania on the weekend. The last personality test that I tried declared that I was a 100% introvert, so I guess I'm heading in the right direction on that scale. I am also very accommodating, but the downside is that I seem to have a martyr complex (as if). I score well in orderliness, but I guess they see that as more bad than good. Can I ever win? Oh wait, I am emotionally stable, and that particular analysis doesn't seem to come replete with a powerful and ominous dark side. I also seem to possess about the right amount of inquisitiveness. (I think this test wants you at 50% or close to it in all categories.)

Am I the only one who can't spell 'accommodating' or any of its variants? TG for spell checkers, for I have been getting that word wrong for about six decades now. I am not a terrible speller, but I have a mental block over that word and a few others.

Big Five Test Results

Extroversion (28%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private. Accommodation (70%) high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex). Orderliness (68%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun. Emotional Stability (60%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Inquisitiveness (52%) medium which suggests you are moderately intellectual, curious, and imaginative.

Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Fifteen

Jonathan will celebrate his fifteenth birthday on Sunday and has requested Chinese takeaway for dinner. Sha requested us to check out the hours, and it appears that they will be open for business.

But did you notice that Google knows that we visited 4 years ago? I am guessing that it was also for JJ's birthday It surprised me that Google knew that, but it makes sense as I do allow GMaps to track my roaming. It has come in handy a few times when I have been trying to remember dates, for I can check in and find that I was at Y on day X.

Now, I am remembering my own fifteenth birthday. Most other birthdays have faded deep into the fog of my brain, but 15 is one that I recall all too well.

Just a few days prior, I had bid farewell to my friends in Montreal, and then I found myself all alone in an unfamiliar semi-rural environment, well outside of Toronto. From living in a four-plex in Montreal, I was now dwelling in a flimsy cottage on a nursery with greenhouses in front and nursery acreage behind. It was a two-mile walk to the nearest corners to get bread and milk.

While I didn't know it at the time, I was sad, lonely and reeling. I was taken to school in a bus, having barely even seen a school bus in Montreal, and the school system worked differently. It was hard for a boy who had only known one environment, and it didn't help that the boy was an introvert.

For several years I vowed to return to Montreal when I graduated, but I never did. It took me years to find my footing and be happy with my new life, but I got there.

I think JJ's fifteenth will be happier than mine was, and I hope the rest of his life will be as happy as mine has been.

Looking for more Candles

How synchronous that in the week in which I am to celebrate my 69th I get prompted to write about Old Age.

I am not sure if 69 is old or not. I mean when I hear something on the news about something or other befalling a 66 year old, in my head I think "That's old." Then I realize that I am that age and older. On the other hand, many people are living and thriving into their 80s or beyond, so against that standard, I'm not yet old.

As I sit here and type this, I don't really feel any different than I ever did. In a very real sense, we don't age inside our heads. Whether I am 18, 25, 32 or 40 in my head, I can't say for sure. But I can say that looking in the mirror can be shocking. And last weekend I had to try twice to get out of a low chair at the cottage and thought to myself, "I didn't think I would feel this old this young."

So there is a bit of an age discrepancy with me anyway, depending on the moment and whether I am being called upon physically or not. I have things going wrong with me in terms of my skeletal framework: knees, shoulders, and that blasted foot, for example. On the other hand, I have had no reports, yet, of things going wrong inside. My blood pressure has always been good, and no one gets too concerned over my triglycerides and such after my annual bloodletting.

Aging is a highly variable thing. My three brothers-in-law have all been fitter than me, at least after my lumbar problems that occurred 22 years past and which limited my physical activities ever since then. But they have all had more significant health problems than I — so far anyway.

Larry, at 4 years older than I, was taken a few years ago at the age of 72 by a genetic blood disorder which caught up with him in older age, Bill, who is my age, is presently being treated for an aggressive brain tumour. Brian, six years younger and extremely fit, has already had a valve replacement. If not for that, I suppose he would have reached his expiry day by now. Instead, due to the miracle of modern science, he is able to run for miles and take on various projects. Meanwhile I, the least fit of the brotherly group, limp (literally) along in life.

The limping comes from a very bad ankle sprain which occurred 30 years ago but then behaved well enough  for the next 20 years. About 10 years ago, however, I started to have problems with that foot, and we discovered that I was missing some cartilage and also had bone chips. They could fuse the joint in question, but I wouldn't then be able to bear weight on that foot for six months. Since I can't imagine hopping around on the one other leg with its wonky knee for much time at all, I decided not to take the surgeon up on his kind offer, especially since it would be difficult to predict whether I would be much better for it.

So, I hobble about, not really as badly or as noticeably as I am making it sound right now, and do my best to take regular walks. But mainly I'm not optimally active, and I also eat too many potato chips, and, consequently, I am anything but fit. It's now time to lose the same 25 lbs that I have lost before. At least, I am not putting on 25 pounds on top of previous, multiple 25 lb gains, so I can take some comfort in that.

The craziest thing, or at least a crazy thing, is looking in the mirror and wondering who is looking back at me. Without being too proud or overstating things, I was not the worst looking fellow on the planet. Now, I see a very bald, somewhat scarred face with drooping eyelids staring back at me through dark circles. I know it's me well enough by now, but it still makes me want to put a paper bag over my head.

I wrote (a little) not too long ago about losing my nouns and fumbling for words. Especially with an introvert's brain where information can be harder to retrieve (or so I think based on things that I have read), I do tend to draw a blank when searching for some words, especially names. Thankfully, they usually if not always come to me within a few seconds, which is something that I find reassuring. Still, it makes me feel like a senile old fool when I stumble audibly during a conversation.

So these have been a few pithy ruminations of old age from the point of one 69 year-old. I expect that everyone has a somewhat different story, and I am still not sure if I am truly old yet.

I do know this, however, I have never been as old as I am right now.

And in the light of all this, please excuse me for being presumptuous and wishing myself a ...

Now I must hunt for 54 more candles.