Saturday, September 01, 2007

Humour for Labour Day Weekend

Here's a Labour Weekend chuckle for you. Well, I hope it makes you smile, at least. It's an old, old joke that has to do with a labourer, a Bricklayer. I first came across it a number of decades ago but was recently reminded of it when Dale sent me a version that has been put to music — (as most songs are :). Hearing the song caused me to google for the prose version, and I found it easily here on Aha.

Dear Sir

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation, and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.

For the time being, I've also uploaded the song, by The Corries. I hope the player works for you. Press play to enjoy.


Coll said...

Oh my goodness.. that is just too funny. :-)

Kila said...

Now that's a bad day. And he was almost DONE!

Thanks for the laugh.

oshee said...

I had heard this story before. It is very funny. My husband and I also loved the song. Very funny! THank you for sharing.

ChrisB said...

As I read it and listened to the song I realised I have heard it before but it's very funny, it's right up embee's street!

PBS said...

Yikes, that was a really bad day at work!

Paul said...

This definitely paints a humorous visual picture.

thailandchani said...

Cute! :)



mreddie said...

I had heard the tale before but never the song - enjoyed it. ec

Gina said...

I'd never heard of the story or the song, thanks for posting them!

Beverly said...

I think that is the funniest story that I've ever read. I've seen your name quite often over at Simply Coll and now you popped up someplace else where I was reading.

Cathy said...

Thanks for the chuckles :0) And the music . . . . well done.