Every now and then, I am reminded of my mortality.
In the summer when I turned 40, I remember walking by a graveyard, and it hit me that I was, quite possibly, halfway to being there. It was different than just knowing that I will die in the bye and bye because we know that all of the time, but there was a new realization of reality on that day.
It is not something that I dwell on, but on Christmas Day this year, I wondered if this one could possibly be my last one.
We were at the kids house, and for some reason, I felt unsteady every time that I got up. I would get up and take a beat to steady my unsteady self before proceeding on in my petty pace. That is when I thought the thought, not in a morbid way, but simply with a realization that it was within the realm of possibility that this could be my last Christmas.
I don’t know why I was feeling unsteady on the morning. I do get up and down all of the time without experiencing that feeling, save every now and then at night, as I have posted here twice this year.
Please don’t get me wrong. I am far from predicting my departure. I do think the chances of my being here are very good. In point of fact, I expect to see next Christmas, but there was just a dawning on that day that went beyond the usual background knowledge that we all have of our mortality. It was a momentary realization and not a doomsday prediction.
Happy New Year
That same thought has also occurred to me, AC, and more often with the ending of the year. It’s a realization that many others of our age group and beyond have in common. Spending time with those you love and who love you is something to cherish even more so as this year wanes. Happy & Healthy 2026 to you and Sue.
ReplyDeleteIt is better to think and take care of things before hand than it is to wait until afterwards. We are never actually prepared fully.
ReplyDeleteI hope your unease settles some.
When I was about 60 the thought popped into my head that I hade more years behind me than ahead of me. That was my first actual consideration of mortality. Next year we will virtual high-five another year behind us.
ReplyDeleteI'm at the age where I've outlived almost all my age cohort of friends, so mortality is ever present. I've made what arrangements I can to spare my son a lot of work. Meanwhile I'm having a very nice time!
ReplyDeleteFunny you should mention how close death is as we age. Dan just told me that 40% of our cohort has passed on. He's been working on green burials and allowing for them here in our township. Selectman are not too keen on the idea because they have no place to store bodies over the winter. A neighboring township would charge us double because we don't live there but they do have place for storing over winter if they can't dig a grave. If you're not familiar with green burials google it.
ReplyDeleteLooks like in 2026 we will make the arrangements so survivor or daughters don't have to. My parents prearranged their cremations and had a plot purchased long before they departed this world.
Oh, and Happy New Year. Hope you both are on the mend. Just read today that a strain of influenza not covered by the flu shot this year is making the rounds.