7 x 70

The mind is a funny thing ... or at least mine is. I thought of the following words while brushing my teeth (go figure) the other morning.

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

Matthew 18: 21-22

You can hear a concept any number of times without it really and truly registering in your brain and affecting your life, but sometimes the same idea comes to you unbidden from your own cranial depths, and it is then that you realize the truth of it. It is then that it begins to make sense, take hold, and stick.

Forgiveness is tough. Most of us hold tightly onto hurts for what seems to be forever. The problem is that the holding on does us no good whatsoever. It doesn't affect the other person, not in any sort of positive way at least, and it makes me, the holder of the grievance, miserable whenever I think upon it. That is why, I suppose, that Jesus told Peter, and thereby us, to forgive someone 490 times, or in other words, as often as it takes.

You see, old hurts just keep resurfacing in our brains. We rethink the old thoughts and are wounded anew every time as we relive the grief, anger, pain, and sorrow from the past. We re-experience these negative emotions every time we replay an old, hurtful episode in our heads. It makes no sense, for it does us no good and usually affects the other party not a whit.

So, it's important to forgive: important for one's own peace of mind. When we forgive we shunt aside the concomitant negative emotions that rob us of happiness and joy whenever we think upon them. But we're human and such thoughts insist upon resurfacing, and so we must forgive again and again — 7 x 70 times — or as often as necessary. I have to believe that each incidence of forgiveness makes it easier to forgive again the next time the brain dredges up that same recollection. I believe that, as we persist in willing ourselves to be forgiving, we will begin to experience those old, negative emotions less and less often and for shorter and shorter durations. And that will make us happier. You see, forgiveness is about us.

I think there's another linked reason why Jesus taught us to forgive 7 x 70 times. It's that many people will be repeat offenders because they can't change or at least they haven't been able to change yet. Whatever combination of nature and nurture that causes a person to perceive the world as he does and, therefore, to behave as he does is fixed in him until some sort of mind-altering revelation occurs. Of course, many, if not most people, go through the greater parts if not all of their lives without experiencing such an epiphany. And for that, they are to be pitied — forgiven as it were. As often as necessary. For our own sakes if not theirs.

These thoughts are most certainly not original. I have heard this concept expressed and have understood it to some extent for some time. Somehow, however, after recalling these words of Jesus the other morning, I think I grasp the notion better and will be able to live it in a truer way. It won't be an easy, one-time occurrence. Writing these thoughts in this blog post will not be a magic pill but a lesson that I will have to keep reminding myself of — up to 7 x 70 times. But it's important that I apply it because this teaching of Jesus is chiefly for my benefit, for it's the forgiver much more than the forgivee who benefits.