Here I Am

So, what the heck is an AC doing these days, and what the heck can he find to write about.

I haven't been doing a whole heckuva lot, I tell ya, which in addition to the temporary disinterest in almost everything caused by my weird and recent ailment, hasn't left me with many deep thoughts worthy of sharing. I mean to say that I more or less find material to write on the basis of what I do and upon the reflections that might occur as I meander my odd, little way through my odd, little life. So, spending almost two weeks staring at a white ceiling … well, let's just say that I really didn't find much inspiration there.

Having said that, let me also say this: I am feeling a whole lot better. While I'm not exactly perky, for the past few days, I have been able to get out about a little. I even made it to my violin lesson the other day, and it didn't go too terribly badly, or so my mentor seemed to say to my praise-hungry ears.

After the lesson Cuppa and I did lunch, shopped a bit, and then headed into the city to purchase a fiddle. I had been renting, and I could continue to do that but decided to invest in a better instrument that would be mine.

Last year around this time, I was struggling over whether to buy an iPod. In the end, I did and am rather glad of it. I use it quite a lot, and having music easily accessible in one spot is really convenient. It beats sorting through scads of CDs let me tell ya. At the time, however, it did seem like an extravagance that nagged at my conscience until I made my decision and put second thoughts behind me.

This year, the fiddle became my dilemma, particularly after my finger flared up. You might recall that I wrote about it in I'm Not Thankful Right Now. It's since been diagnosed as a repetitive-stress injury. It hasn't gotten too very much better, but a combination of ibuprofen, Myoflex, and ice seems to keep it from getting worse. Still, there's no telling how foreshortened my fiddle career will become.

With that in mind, I really hesitated over making this purchase. While I wouldn't exactly be purchasing a Stradivarius, it's still a significant outlay to purchase a semi-decent instrument. What if I had to give up the instrument sooner rather than later? That would be a waste. Or would it? Supposing that worst does come to pass and I have to give up this pursuit sooner rather than later, wouldn't it still be of some value for me to experience playing on a better instrument for as long as I am able? Wouldn't that increase my pleasure, and isn't that even more important if my fiddle-playing days are going to be truncated?

So, I did it. The other day, I bought a somewhat better instrument with a much nicer tone. Although it might seem to be a tad extravagant, I didn't exactly have to re-mortgage the house, and I have paid approximately twice as much for a computer – more than once or twice too – so it really wasn't all that costly. Now that the decision has been made, I'll put my mental angst behind me and enjoy the purchase as much as I can for as long as I can.

We walk a fine line between being good stewards of our capital and using our resources to bring us a modicum of pleasure. We have to be sensible, but sometimes it seems right to follow life where it wants to take us.