Tuesday, March 10, 2026

Eh? What did you say?

While many seniors have some hearing loss, I have a significant deficiency. Being hearing impaired carries its frustrations for both the hearer and the speaker. I have experienced this several times recently.  

When I asked Sue to repeat something while we were driving, she wondered if my hearing were deteriorating even more because I seem to be asking her to repeat herself with greater frequency. And to be truthful, I sometimes don't even bother to ask because I evaluate that a certain message didn't strike me as being terribly important, so I let it slide. The necessity to repeat is frustrating for both parties after all, so one reiteration bypassed can be beneficial for the nerves.

Recently, I was out for coffee with the boys, and I just couldn't catch a certain word in the conversation. Bob repeated it. Nick repeated it. It took several repetitions before I clued in. It can be aggravating. It didn't help that I was sitting next to a speaker and that we are usually right under one at our other coffee venue.

Then there's music. Sue asked me to listen to the Britain's Got Talent segment, below. I asked if it were important that I listen to the words, and she said that it was, so I tried. While I caught a bit here and there and would think that I was starting to get it, the next words were indecipherable. They really did sound like they could be singing in a different language. Even though my hearing aids sufficiently amply the volume, I no longer seem to possess the sensitivity to discriminate amongst all sounds.

It seems to me that modern pop music relies more on the words than the tunes, and since I have so much trouble with the words, I simply can't appreciate the music the way that others do. Oh, for the good, old days of singable tunes.


For my part, it is frustrating when people, after raising their voices or speaking more clearly for a sentence, go right back to their previous volume. Everyone does this. People have a certain manner of speech, and they revert right back to it naturally. It’s just the way that it is.

I also recognize that it is frustrating for others to not be heard and to continually be asked to repeat themselves. And then they have to do it again. The cycle keeps repeating itself, probably at least partly because hearing impairment is invisible, and what people can't see they tend to forget. Hearing-impaired people still look normal, but we aren't.

After partly missing out on the above video, Sue was feeling sorry for me, so she later came back with a compilation of harmony auditions for BTG. They were great vocals that could be appreciated for their sheer musicality. Since there are several in this post, I have cued to one that gave me the feels. I didn't have to follow the words to be touched.

I have cued the video to one clip that affected me but there are others if you were to care to listen to more. 


27 comments:

  1. I'm familiar with letting things go because I don't want to bother the speaker about what they said, while hoping the context will make it clear. I think my hearing has deteriorated a bit because I'm missing words here and there. But last time I saw tge audio, she switched out a wire on one aid and my hearing returned! Maybe it's the aids, not you?

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  2. I don't have a hearing loss that would justify hearing aids but still struggle with soft talkers and mumblers. A friend is one of those.
    Dan has hearing aids but I still have to repeat myself. These days too he listens to programs on his phone which go right into his aids and I have no idea that he can't hear me because he's listening to something else.

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  3. It can be isolating, right? One the one hand, sometimes you may let things go rather than asking someone to repeat themself, and on the other hand, people might start talking around you instead of to you. I saw this with my great aunt when her hearing was so bad, and I see it sometimes with my Mother in Law. That’s generally a generational difference though, and it sounds like a lot of your group are peers, so hopefully less likely to give up and exclude you.

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  4. Good points about invisible limitations! Your back would be one, except now you walk with a cane! Hearing words against music (especially in speakers blasting different music) is always hard for me. Though I've watched many British shows, many require me to have subtitles to understand what is being said. At least audio books can be slowed down by percentages which help me understand. No hearing loss that I know of, but geese, there are people who intentionally slur and hurry their speech just so it's like code-talk! They either get ignored or asked to speak more clearly by this elder whose life is slower than theirs...no matter how much caffeine!

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  5. Maybe your aids need to be adjusted.

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    1. It's not really that new except for Sue wondering if it is getting worse.

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  6. If I had written this post I would have said exactly the same things. I'm hoping some of mine clears up after sinus surgery, which is affecting the ear, but it won't fix things. Rick is very soft spoken and sometimes even on the sofa, a few feet apart, I can't pick him up. And car conversation is a real challenge. I use the closed captions on TV all the time with my Brit stuff and sometimes on other. I'm avoiding the hearing aids for a bit but I know how aggravating it is to others! So, just know you are not alone!

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  7. Ok, this music brought tears to my eyes. Trevor, my goodness. Now, onto hearing. I haven't any problem but Mark does and stubbornly refuses to wear his hearing aids. He just won't. So, yes, I understand the frustration but do not sympathize with his. At all!

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  8. I am grateful 🙏 to have very good hearing. I do empathize with those who have this difficulty. My neighbour does.

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  9. My hearing is getting worse...or perhaps I am just tired of listening to the news and Trumper relatives.

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  10. I have a hard time when there is a lot of background noise, it's very frustrating. My husband definitely has hearing loss and agrees with your "bypass" method lol.

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  11. Oh yes. JG has lost most of the higher frequencies, and I often have to repeat. I have one good ear and one bad one. We both use aids, but put up with partial hearing when it is just the two of us. I note that we find restaurants especially frustrating for ambient noise levels.
    My worst problem is the radio. I have to sit with the good side toward a speaker.

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  12. Hang in there friend. These are price we pay to remain alive I suppose. Wishing you and Sue all the best. I know you have what it takes to surmount this difficulty together. Aloha

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  13. I can relate to your situation. And now my husband is growing a hard of hearing as I am. There's a lot of "What?" at our house these days.

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  14. Hi, A/C, long-time reader, first-time commenter. I appreciate what you are saying. My husband uses hearing aids, as well, and I wonder sometimes if they work inefficiently, because his hearing is OK sometimes and not so much at other times. My hearing is still pretty good, but I cannot hear well in crowded rooms or with low-talkers, as Elaine Benis called them. Like Mary, we find restaurants very hard with all the ambient noise. We use closed captioning on TV all the time now. Actually, there are a few technical reasons why so many of us find understanding the TV more difficult these days. You might find this article interesting: https://hearingandme.com/why-does-tv-sound-muffled-common-causes-and-clear-fixes/

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  15. Asking out of ignorance, but if one is hard of hearing in certain registers, does it remain the same, even with hearing aids? So far I haven't needed them, but John (who worked at Boeing with lots of machines) has hearing loss. I'm a loud speaker, having taught school. I can project! Perhaps if you don't hear a word, the person could write it down for you. I know that only helps if it's a few words though, not a whole conversation. It must be frustrating to only catch bits and pieces of what people are saying/singing.

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    1. Supposedly the aids will correct the volume, but somehow, my discernment is still off. I can more or less keep up with most conversations in decent environments. BTW, I was going to correct my great omission in life by trying to learn to speak French better when I retired. I gave up almost immediately due to discernment.

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  16. I'm gong to get checked here soon. I have to ask Mr. M. to repeat and I have to have the TV up loud. Yes, very frustrating.

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  17. Hearing aids don't fix hearing like glasses fix vision. I was born with a hearing loss, got one aid in 7th grade even though loss is bilateral. (Doc thought it was good to keep an ear open for school band saxophone; bad mistake.) Got worse by my late 30s, finally trained and rewired my brain to hear with 2 aids. Got worse by late 60s, qualified for cochlear implant, sounds are different but word understanding (the big problem, eh?) was much better because the remaining new aide matched and was programmed with the implant. First time I could hear in the middle of my head. I understand all about adapting. Spouses and best friends understand when you answer something bizarre and they know you didn't understand the question. Don't forget you can turn up the volume. Say hi to your audiologist. You may need reprogramming, or something new. Don't change spouses. Linda in Kansas

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  18. Obviously it is too late for you but seeing the pains that someone likes you goes through not makes me glad that I went out of my way to protect my hearing when I was young and still do to this day. I hope doing so will stave off the severe hearing loss later in life. You may not have this issue culturally, but down here, teens like to play their car stereos at unimaginable decibels. I also wonder when the hearing loss will start occurring.

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  19. I know this struggle as my own hearing has deteriorated somewhat but mostly because my spouse is hard-of-hearing and has hearing aids. Many people struggle with this and it should invite us all to be patient, sensitive, and compassionate. I'm trying, but I too default to my norm: I'm a soft-spoken, quiet man (95% of the time). No pun or humour intended when I say, I hear you.

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  20. Oh boy! You've nailed it. It's all about pitch and being able to face the speaker. I get berated many times a day for purposely ignoring the Micro Manager. I realize that people find it frustraTING WHEN WE CAN'T HEAR. Great post. Hearing loss is DISability.

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  21. I must admit I get really peeved with Joe. He does miss a lot of what I say. I have to remember to articulate better.

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  22. Words accompanying music are always more difficult to make out than words in ordinary speech. So if you have any kind of hearing issue, that's going to be especially a challenge.

    It's surprising how often you can deduce from context what somebody probably said, even if you can't make it out perfectly. What's troublesome is when I guess wrong about what they said and make some noncommittal response to what actually needed something more specific.

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  23. Oh I hear you, loud and clear! My Larry always asks me to repeat what I have said, but not because of his hearing loss. He just doesn't bother to listen, then realizes he's missed the first part and interrupts asking me to repeat...when I haven't finished the sentence! For years I thought he had hearing loss, but his tests came back with perfect hearing!

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  24. My husband has a similar problem with his hearing and I know it's sometimes frustrating for him. Sometimes for me too since I have to repeat myself. Thank you for sharing that video of Travis George. Wow! I'm sorry he didn't win.

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  25. Hearing loss and word understanding do change as we age. You are explaining that very well. I don't think I can add anything here other than to say, I've dealt with it with my husband also.
    It is an invisible disability, you are very correct about that.

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