Do they? Should they? On dates, I mean.
I know that I once did, at least on early dates, but that was in another time. What would be the right thing to do now?
We have clicky things to unlock doors from a distance, and times have also changed. Would women even want a man to open a door for her nowadays?
It's just as well that I am not on the dating scene because I do not have an actual clue.
It's awkward. I'm awkward.
The meme is perfect. I suspect most would not be aware of the tradition.
ReplyDeleteIt's a different world today. I don't think many of either sex wouid appreciate the gesture.
ReplyDeleteI agree with DJan. I’m pretty sure my daughter would feel insulted if someone tried to open a car door for her. Like you AC, I’m glad I’m not having to date anymore.
ReplyDeleteAs a single woman, I remember dating a while back...when I was interested. It was a nice gesture the very first time I got in a date's car. From there on out, I said it wasn't necessary, and appreciated the gesture of gallantry! Verbally acknowledging it, and giving permission to skip it seemed the most "lady-like" way to be a modern woman. If he hadn't offered, I would have also been fine with it. Often I meet a man in a doorway and am again given the go-ahead, his gesture of indication that I should go through first. I say thank you.
ReplyDeleteWe are in a different age. It doesn't matter who it is we should open doors for each other.
ReplyDeleteEvery once in a while Farmbeau will open a vehicle door for me. I like it, say thank you, and tell him all the ladies seeing it will be swooning. It's sweet but not expected or necessary.
ReplyDeleteBuilding doors he will always open, then step aside to let me through first. I like it and say thank you.
These are gentlemanly manners that I don't expect, but do appreciate for their simple courtliness.
I had a husband who'd walk in ahead of me and let the door slam in my face. Look how that ended up!
I open and hold doors for both men and women, and I'm not sure -- but I'll try it and see -- that Fbo would walk through it ahead of me even so. Maybe certain of his habits have been built in.
Holding a door for someone else is just a courtesy, as I see it. It's never felt belittling to my fiercely feminist heart.
Once upon a time, I think women needed some assistance maneuvering in their finery. Then it became a habit. If I ever were to date, I would probably bring the subject to let the lady know that I was willing to be considerate. I hold doors for anyone if the occasion warrants, and I have had women hold doors for me although there aren't too many manual doors any more.
DeleteThe car door is silly, are we just supposed to sit while the man walks around to the other side of the car? Like we don't understand the door handle, hahaha. I suppose you mean getting into the car, but the question made me think of old movies, where it was both -getting in/getting out. The other doors, I think it's nice but not necessary. I agree we should be courteous and hold the door for the next person.
ReplyDeleteBack in the day, when you had long skirts, one needed help getting up and into vehicles. Times have changed!
ReplyDeleteI think it should be appreciated if someone opens a door 🚪 for another person no matter what.
ReplyDeleteI would appreciate it but it rarely happens. John does so sometimes and my ex, Henry, always did. But in many other ways Henry was a jerk so opening the door for me meant little.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember anyone opening a car door for me but doors into buildings, Yes. As others have said, I open doors for others if I am there first and someone is behind me.
ReplyDeleteI say yes, but you know what's more important? A clean car (and yes, I'm speaking from experience, sigh.)
ReplyDeleteI still occasionally (very occasionally) open doors for my wife. I have no clue if that's still a thing anymore.
ReplyDeleteDamn if you do. Damn if you don't.
ReplyDeleteI remember my husband coming home and telling me how a young woman told him off for opening a door for her at a store. Fortunately, there are still some who enjoy these back-in-the-day good manners. He still opens doors for people, for the elderly especially, and I guess we fit in that bracket now.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, it is not something I would ever see a need to chide anyone over. It seems silly that a simple kindness would be turned into something to fuss about. I always say thank you, and if anyone is behind me, I 'pay it forward'.
ReplyDeleteBack (way back) when that was a thing, I always felt like an idiot sitting and waiting for the car door to be opened when I could easily do it myself.
ReplyDeleteMr. M. still opens the car door for me. From what I have observed in my town, there is no courtesy at from any age man. It's pathetic.
ReplyDeleteThe good guys, still open doors for cars and into buildings (restaurant dates), into the communion line at church, and make sure their ladies (or elderling mothers) get down the steps ok. No, not for every date. They also still take their hat off when then enter a building or house. It is a sign of respect for the ladies that work hard to keep a home and constantly prepare meals. It was in the 1985-ish era when I last saw men stand up at a nice restaurant or bar when a woman of any age left the room AND returned. That was with my Dad and two brothers. The husband at the time had no clue what was happening. My son's little friends had to remove their ball caps when coming into my house. Pulling out a chair for a lady at a holiday dinner at home, now only happens if your arm is in a sling or you're prego. Watch KC Chiefs' Travis Kelce on dates with Taylor Swift: he holds her hand and makes sure she gets down the steps = classy old-fashioned chivalry wins most times. We need it to return and Congress certainly needs lessons! Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely you do! Larry still opens doors for me. Sign of a true and caring gentleman!
ReplyDeletehugs
Donna
Of course your should still open the door for your date! that being said, it doesn't work when you're in a wheelchair.
ReplyDelete