Once upon a time, my mother related to me that she once took me to her friend's house for her to babysit me for a short time. From Mom's recounting, I understand that the babysitter was a little disappointed in my visit, for all I did for the whole time was play with latch or handle on a door.
It can't really be the case that I remember, but I almost feel like there's a faint niggling in my brain of me standing by a back door and playing with the lock or latch or jiggling a skeleton key in a lock or whatever.
It is almost certain that this is just an impression of sorts. When Mom told me about this, and I think that I was still just a kid when she did, I probably just made a picture in my brain. Now, when I think that maybe I do remember the event, I am most likely just remembering the impression that I made back then. I was probably too young at that time for the incident to remembered anyway.
Most adults have little to no memory of events before the age of 3 or 4. This phenomenon is known as infantile amnesia. While some individuals might recall isolated fragments or emotionally charged events from as early as age 2 or 3, these memories are often vague and may be influenced by stories told by others. (Google AI — emphasis mine)
Still I do sometimes wonder if my brain has retained some sort of impression of the actual episode. Meanwhile, I do remember that my mother telling me of it certainly struck a chord for some reason. Why do I remember so clearly, or at least I think I do, her telling me of something in passing, possibly more than 65 years ago?
Why did an image like the one above evoke so much? Did that long-ago conversation with my mother somehow implant a false memory? But then, why do I remember the offhand conversation so much?
I'll never know for sure, will I?
And where is Mom when I need answers, like how old was I at the time, and what sort of door and latch was it?
It's sad that we don't know, while we are young, that we would have need of those type questions...I have a few myself.
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday...
Donna
So many times, I want to ask her jus t one more hting.
DeleteAt other times, I want to learn how to keyboard. 😁
DeleteThe brain is a funny thing. For many decades of my life, I had a memory of laying on a floor underneath a table in a trailer house but my mom insisted that it couldn't be true because the only one she lived in was for a year when I was only 12 months old. She's been gone for 7 years now and with this post and thinking about that "memory" again, it feels not real now, like it was a mental wish. But I know my younger self would tell me that it felt very real at the time. Like you, I'll never know the true answer. After that, it is probably another three or so years before I have any memories that I'm more positive were true but as I get older, they seem less real than they felt when I was younger.
ReplyDeleteLike Donna said, I wish I had my brain that I have now back when I was 40 years younger. I have a huge list of questions I would ask those that are no longer here.
ReplyDeleteYes, I also replied that to her.
DeleteMy grown children are prone to have memories which they carry of events that I remember differently. It makes no difference if I say that things were different. They are quite sure of their own minds. So whether or not the elders are still around to clarify, it seems an experience becomes more real in the minds' recollection.
ReplyDeleteIt has been proven often that memories are very unreliable, even after a short while. Of course, we all think that ours are correct, but we should probably not be too dogmatic about them.
DeleteRecollections are not to be trusted. They change with every recall, I hear.
ReplyDeleteI believe there can be some kind of memory of traumatic events. Perhaps simply fragments, but something.
ReplyDeleteI recall laying in my playpen at my grandparents place in Cobourg. There was a net over the bed and I could see the breeze ruffling the leaves of the trees above my head. Still young enough to sleep in a baby bed, so ??? three perhaps.
ReplyDeleteThe brain is an interesting thing! Sometimes I remember things from elementary school and some things from high school, although much later, I don't recall as much.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to add...I was hit by a car in 1989. I was on foot! I was crossing the street on a green light and the driver had his green light as well, but he was turning right, didn't see me and hit me. Apparently I was thrown, which resulted in a gash on my forehead and bruising on my hands, arms and legs. I only remember seeing the driver before he hit me and then looking up after I was knocked down. I don't recall the actual impact or the fact that I was thrown. Fortunately nothing was broken and fortunately I didn't have a concussion, but my forehead gash required stitches.
ReplyDeleteI think my lack of remembering the actual impact and being thrown was a blessing.
I don't trust AI! I clearly remember my dark green bedroom, which I moved out of when I was three.
ReplyDeleteThe way you reflect on your mother’s story shows how powerful storytelling can be, sometimes leaving an imprint stronger than the actual event itself. It’s a quiet meditation on memory, time, and what sticks with us.
ReplyDeleteOk, I have a memory of arriving at the house we were to live in in the Philippines when I was just 2. I remember going up to a window sill, they were fairly low, and finding a coin. It wasn't until as adults we talked about traveling on a boat to get to the Philippines that I had a memory flash of metal stairs on a boat. Any other "memories" of the boat are a result of the older sibs discussions and photos.
ReplyDeleteI have other memories from the Philippines when I was 3 and 4.
Unfortunately you will never know. Memory is indeed unreliable and even adults have a tendency to let their memories be modified by talking about the event, without realizing.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many things we realize we should have asked about, after those who could have answered are gone forever.
Memory is a funny thing; what we think we remember is often a story we've been told, a photo we've seen or the workings of our imagination. I don't remember much before 5. Big events like the assassination of JFK and the death of my grandmother (my mom cried!) were the only things to stick.
ReplyDeleteSo, are we really remembering the stuff we think we remember????
ReplyDeleteI have many memories of my early years and I dont think that all of them are from family retellings. I certainly vividly recall Hurricane Hazel, holding a piece of hail so big it covered my little palm, and of Mom telling us to get back inside because it was the eye of the storm. I remember looking up, trying to see the eyeball! I was only 3 when that hurricane struck, but I remember us huddling around an oil lamp in the living room of our little house. I guess I remember because it was such a dramatic event. I remember lots of other things from that house, and yet we moved from there when I was 5. So those are all early memories indeed.
ReplyDeleteI have a sense memory of being covered in Vicks vaporub I got into in my crib. Or do I just remember based on what Mom told me?
ReplyDeleteYou've raised a debatable topic. I'm less than one year older than my brother. Things we do remember are sometimes different. I'm amazed at what my son remembers about his early years. I think there's a wide variation.
ReplyDelete