Churchless Sunday Morning

Here it is Sunday morning, and I am not going to church. In point of fact, I haven't gone to church on a Sunday morning for about 40 years, and I have been an atheist for even a little longer. I do, however, think about Christianity quite a lot, and I try to learn about it, mostly about the beginnings of the movement and who believed what and when, and how Christianity have come to be what it now is.

One might wonder, and indeed I have wondered, if I were to be a Christian, what sort of Christian would I be. This is assuming that I could possibly be a believer, but if I could become one, what would I believe?

I think, if it were possible for me to beleive, I would be a Jewish Christian. By that I don’t mean that I would become Jewish. What I do mean is that I might believe as I think the early Jewish Christians came to believe as time went on.

We know what sort of Christianity the rest of the Mediterranean world come to believe although it took a few centuries to get the doctrine straight with everyone walking on the correct doctrinal path: a path begun by Saul become Paul of Tarsus.

Essentially, Paul wrote the New Testament, and except for a book or two, what Paul didn’t write was highly influenced by his teachings. It seems pretty clear, for example, that the four gospel writers were all familiar with Paul's theology.

Paul was a man who never met Jesus and who, in his writings, gave little indication that he knew much about his Lord. While Paul had a vision of a risen and exalted Christ, he seemed either unaware or unconcerned about the teachings of the Jesus who actually walked the earth and taught what he taught. For Paul, belief in the Christ was essential, and the teachings of Jesus the man were not particularly espoused. 

For the most part, Christianity has believed in Christ's atonement while almost ignoring Jesus' key teachings. Of course, there are exceptions but how many 21st century Christians love their neighbours as themselves or forgive others as God forgives them? How many love and pray for their enemies? And how is turning the other cheek going?

There does, however, appear to have been an alternate version of Christianity early in the movement, one that tried to take the teaching of Jesus to heart. They were, apparently, the Jews who stayed in Jerusalem and region and became a group known as the Ebionites, or poor ones.

This group of Christians did not believe that Jesus was the eternally existent God but that he became uniquely accepted and elevated by God at his baptism. They did not believe in a virgin birth, and not all Ebionites believed in Jesus' physical resurrection.

They did believe in keeping the Law as Jesus taught although their version of the Law did not necessarily mean the full version that other Jews may have practiced. They did seem to live communally in some way and not strive to amass personal wealth. They rejected Paul, thinking he was an apostate but venerated James the Just, the brother of Jesus whom they deemed to be true successor to Jesus. link

The Ebionites were a Jewish Christian sect that believed Jesus was a human Messiah, not a divine being, and that one must strictly follow the Jewish Law to be righteous, rejecting Paul as an apostate. They denied Jesus' divinity and virgin birth, believing he was the natural son of Joseph and Mary, adopted as God's son due to his perfect observance of the Law. Ebionites practiced asceticism, holy poverty, and religious vegetarianism, and revered Jerusalem as a holy city. (Google)

I do think that, as decades passed, stories about Jesus grew and spread around the Mediterranean: stories of miracles, healing, a virgin births, the resurrection, and so on. These are the stories that were described in the four gospels. I do not think that for the most part these were the beliefs of all of the early Jewish Christians. Apparently, their form of Christianity, the Jesus part, existed in a small pocket for another few centuries. Over time this small group faded into history, and the Christ doctrines with which we are familiar became mainstream.

If I could believe, I think I would believe more as these Jewish Ebionites believed. I don't think that I could ever believe in the virgin birth, the raising of the dead, or the feeding of the multitudes. If I could believe something, it would be that Jesus was a good teacher who taught righteous living. Just perhaps, I might come to believe that Jesus was accepted and exalted by God in a special way. Mostly, however, my religion would entail living an upright life and not hoping that adhering to the right doctrine would be the key to salvation.

Caturday 88: The Cowled Cat etc

Happy Caturday from the Cowled Pussy Cat

Now that we have adored Lacey. I also wish to inform you that I busted out my new heated throw in the middle of the night. The temperature went down to 10C/50F, and with a breeze coming in, I sought warmth at about 4am. I set the blanket at 4 (out of 6), but I didn't really need it to be quite that warm. I'll have to get used to to my birthday gift from Sha and the kids. I should get a lot of practice this winter.

Chair, Blanket and iPad

By the way, that is my usual morning position for blogging and gaming, but I don't game like the kids. I just do morning puzzles. Sometimes I am at the computer for blogs, but I am more often in my chair.

I found this on a blog that linked to Bluesky.

Back to cats because it is Caturday after all. This reel shows the incredible reaction time of cats. At least I hope it does. Someday, I should try to figure out how to embed a Twitter reel into Blogger: https://x.com/Rainmaker1973/status/1954836991327006978.

Wait! I think I've got it: not centered, but better than linking.

The stunning reflection time of catspic.twitter.com/5R5bddjDfm

— Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) August 11, 2025

 

Dear Doctor

Dear Doctor

Why must you interrupt? I am not verbose and had almost finished my short account. I don’t take long, and I really wanted to say it all, but you did interrupt, so I never got to tell you that I was still somewhat shaky at night. I know that you got the gist and that you had all of the trusty test  results, but people want to tell their stories and be heard. 

I know that those extra fifteen seconds of my narrative wouldn’t have changed the prognosis or prescription, but I wanted to say my few words anyway and in my way. 

Sincerely

John

Doors, Drives and Silliness

We replaced our rusty thirty-year-old light fixture over the garage. Then Sue decided that it required a special bulb. Our house will be noticed.

There is a similar light inside the porch, but it doesn't show up as radiantly.

Our Wednesday walk took us to the coffee shop and around to the junction to consume it. Just in case you don't believe me, I have a selfie.

Dani stopped by on Tuesday after her first day at Carleton University. It was just an orientation session, but she had a full slate of classes yesterday. I will look forward to hearing how it is going.

apple and peanut butter snack

Uni will be different and difficult for her. Since she already has a car, and residence is very costly, she will commute daily. Unfortunately, that will involve up to two hours of travel time — usually in rush hour, at least in the morning. I think it will take her awhile to sort out the best plan of action with regards to schedule and meals. She hung around campus well into the evening yesterday and didn't get home until after 10, but she has no classes on Thursdays, so she won't have to get up early to drive in today.

Her orientation was sane and serious, not silly like mine was all those years ago. Along with others, I had to tour the city in this ↓ outfit. I was just turning 20, and that was my first beard. I have usually had a beard since then, but I have had a few years or part years clean shaven.

Off to University, 1967
Outfit made by Sue following provided instructions sheet.

78th Done and Dusted

As of yesterday, I have begun my 79th orbit around the sun, grateful for the previous 78 journeys.

The flashing Happy Birthday that we now use and reuse instead of candles.
It was presented with the birthday pie.

Family celebration was pizza at Sha's for Sunday supper. The pics were most atrocious, but here is one of me receiving my birthday pie — a delish, crumble-top blueberry. Nowadays, we often tend to do birthday pies or whatnots instead of cakes. We actually did birthday cookies for JJ.

On the actual day, yesterday, Sue took me to Freska where I ordered my usual, gargantuan Chef's Bowl.

I wore my new, birthday shirt.

I took a picture-in-picture selfie using the FB app.

Afterward, we took a short walk to the bridge. We took looking upriver before picking up a chocolate chip cookie for dessert at the Blue Spoon. I did manage to get the cookie home before consuming it, but it was a close call. 

Looking upriver along OUR Mississippi (not THAT Mississippi) on a cloudy day

Morning and Evening Pics

We had a tough slog of a walk yesterday after not having the best night for either of us. Nevertheless we dragged ourselves around the block. We found a few flower pictures in the park.

I took the first two, but Sue knocked it out of the park (no pun intended) with her ICM (Intentional Camera Movement) shot. I've tried this effect but not with the iPhone. Sue made it work.

Sue must have been feeling very creative with her photo of the day because she went wild editing this one, also taken in the park.

feet and shadows

Come evening, I looked out back and spied a pretty nice sunset. By propping my phone on the back fence, I eliminated most of the wires and then edited away the few that I couldn't escape.

Sonnenburg Woods

I knew that there was another entrance to the woods about which I have recently written. In fact, GMaps refers to this entrance as the Sonnenburg Woods. The entrance that we have used twice previously is the St James Woods, but really there is only one woodland, and GMaps does identify this Sonnenburg entrance with St James in brackets: Sonnenburg Woods (St James).

There was no long perimeter path by the Sonnenburg entrance. We were immediately in the woods, and there were various branching trails. The paths included some rocks and roots, causing us to pick our way somewhat carefully, but it was not difficult by any means.

We took phone photos, which is all that I seem to do right now while my Canon lies in state, as it were. There was great contrast of light and dark which resulted in very mediocre photos, but as per usual, a little bit of post processing helped out significantly. I show part of the path, below.

Surprisingly, in places, there were old fences by the path. This is an old fence post, below. The actual fencing didn't turn out so well in this or any other photos, but you may be able to spot a little wire to the bottom right of the post. The shaft of light was an added delight.

Someone has tied markers here and there to help newcomers to find their way back to the parking lot. There is also fencing in this photo that you might see if you try hard.

After the woodsy walk, we picked up coffee and took it to the park. What we didn't do on this occasion was take a selfie. Obviously, this oversight should be cause for concern. However, what I did do was take a picture of a canoe on the river, marking approximately the thirty-ninth-thousandth such photo. Somehow, I can't seem to resist.

The Soul Knows

Hmmph. I wanted to show you a photo of the light prisms that I see on my wall from my chair on some mornings. For some reason, it has disappeared from both my phone cloud and my computer. So, I will leave you with just two things.

One: a Sue and John selfie that I don't think that I have shown you. It's not that you need to see yet another one of the happy couple, but here we all are, so here it is.

Two: I was watching a podcast and had to stop and record this statement. It goes pretty well with what I recently wrote about belief not really being a choice.

You can't ultimately lies to you soul. Your soul knows when things don't feel congruent.

I believe it was said by Simon Mundle although I am not completely sure if it wasn't the other guy on the podcast.

We'll be off for our daily walk soon. How many selfies should we take? 😊😎😉😇🤔

Notes in Passing

Winter is Coming

Although it is unnaturally cold lately after a very hot summer, it is not the current weather that causes me to think of winter. Rather. it is the snow removal contract that landed in my email on the weekend. They will gladly keep my very short driveway cleared for $467 (tax incl). Shauna's drive is about a half car length longer, so she will have to fork out $80 more.

You may recall from last winter that we we were overly blessed with snow, and you may also recall that it accumulated to the point that the pile in the yard grew taller than I. Pushing snow is one thing but lifting it high is another, and then there is the big, heavy pile that the plows leave by the road, and I cannot deal with that anymore.

So, I don't have much choice but to pay the piper, as it were. There are financial costs to aging that people don't think about.

I almost forgot, but there is another sign of winter, Sue ordered and received the wool for her winter afghan project. 

 

Car Troubles

Our 2010 Honda was getting noisy. It had only been 2.5 years since I had done the exhaust completely, and we had driven fewer than 11000km/7000mi in that time. Nevertheless, there was a hole in the pipe, and the costs of repair was more than $550.

ITU

Speaking of expenses for seniors, I went to the expense of purchasing UTI test strips that cost almost $19 for 3 strips. You may recall that they discovered a UTI in that trip to the ER. Or did they?

My last UTI, two years ago, also in August, was a deuce to clear up, so once the meds were finished, I wanted to know if we had contained this one. According to the trips, we hadn't.

I was expecting to be prescribed more antibiotics, but when they cultured the specimen, they did not, strangely enough, find an actual infection. So the test strip is reporting one thing, but the lab results do not concur. I guess that I should see the doc for clarification. 

 

Inconsiderate Dog Owners

I get that people can't help their dogs peeing on lawns. I really do. And our front lawn is so rough, especially in this drought, that I don't mind too much. However, Sue has maintained a lovely pot of flowers near the sidewalk as she has done for years. It's never been a problem before, but a dog peed right on the pot and damaged the flowers. Sue moved that pot to the back of the yard and put another in its place. It was hit again. That is not acceptable.

Speaking of parched grass, I am glad to report, however, that the drought broke yesterday. We had a goodly amount of rain. Is it my imagination, or is it looking greener already?

Back to the Woods

Dear Reader probably wouldn't remember that during the summer we took a walk up to the patch of woods on the north edge of town. It was a hot and buggy walk, so we decided to wait until fall to return. It isn't yet fall, but we've had some cool weather, and once we pass mid-August, the insect plague seems to diminish greatly.

On Tuesday, it was time to try again. Once again, we stuck mostly to the perimeter path.

I had been hoping to spot a lot of chicory, but we only saw the occasional flower.

There was much golden rod, however, and a number of sleeping bees, so they were relatively easy to photograph for once. They were sleeping because it had been a cold night and still a cool morning.

We did duck into the woods briefly. The trail was short, so we soon found ourselves back on the perimeter path. Someday, we shall explore the trails more, but I don't think any will be too long because it is not an very large woodland.

On the way out, we passed a very cool looking old truck that called out to me, so I stopped and took out my phone.

What a beaut! I know from the mat on the cargo bed that it is a 1949 something or other. At the time, I didn't think to check the hood for the make or model.

Finally! Shawarma with the Kids

When they were younger, every now and then we would have shawarmas with the kids at the little park behind town hall. We'd park the car, walk along main street to Lakeside Shawarma, and take our food back to a table by the river.

Look at all of the rock on the far side of the dam. The water is very low.

Somehow, we missed  this ritual last year, but we had this week to get together before school starts up again next week,

The circumstances weren't the best on a cool and windy day with the yellow jackets pestering us. In fact, I got stung really well by one of the blighters. But we made a memory with the kids, and those are getting harder to come by now that we don't see Dani and JJ as much.

We didn’t linger long and left to head to the Blue Spoon for desert, which we consumed while walking. I got the most scrumptious cookie ever! It was a biggish chocolate chip cookie with a bit of sea salt. Baked until perfectly crispy, it was delish. I am not usually a huge cookie guy, but this one was spectacular.

We wandered around main street for a few minutes, but since it was my cane hand that was stung, I put it in the car. I was doing fine without it, but the others still kept the outing short out of consideration. 

We only ventured into one store — Amethyst — where I saw a rather nice amethyst lamp for $229 and a very impressive chunk of amethyst crystal for $600. What a specimen!

It all took place in about and hour and a half or less, but we took one more photo before going our separate ways.

We'll see them again sometime on the weekend for a birthday celebration before school recommences next week. In the meantime, I leave you with one of Sue's collages.

My Deconversion Story

When I posted my recent churchy blogs that I shall link at the end, people seemed very interested in hearing about my faith story or actually loss of faith. 

You know my churchy background by now, but you may not know that I continued to be a very committed Christian until my mid-30s. In point of fact, there was a time when I thought of leaving teaching to retrain as a minister. 

In those years after our marriage in 1969, Sue and I attended various evangelical churches — Pentecostal, Free Methodist, Associated Gospel, and even the occasional Baptist service. This lasted into the 1980s. I loved being an evangelical Christian, and church music is still what plays in my head more than any other. The music still gives me feelings or at least memories of feelings.

Near the end of my faith period, I led a little couples bible study of just 3 couples. It was great. We all enjoyed our times together. When the sessions concluded because one couple was moving away, one of the guys loaned me a set of creationist tapes. At the end of the tapes, the presenter went on about the continents zooming around after the flood, just 4000 years ago.

I knew enough about the study of plate tectonics to realize that was balderdash. However, it shouldn't have affected me because I hadn't been a young earth creationist to begin with. I knew the earth was old, but believed in guided evolution or Intelligent Design as they call it now. I knew that it had been 200 million years since the planets were together in the form of Pangea and that they have been moving to their present position for all of that time and that they are still on the move. While I won't go into it, the science is irrefutable. 

All along, I had known about geologic time yet still also believed the gospel. Science and belief were not incompatible in my mind. However, it was realizing the absurdity of the claim that the continents had shifted dramatically just a few thousand years ago that made me think of time differently. It suddenly hit me that, geologically speaking, the earth hadn't required divine intervention for 200 million years. Geology just grinded on and on. I had never thought of it this way. 

I realized that the planet hadn't needed a guiding god for 200 million years. That's a rather long time.

As people and Christians, we have this notion that we are special and that god created us with a special purpose. If that were the case, he really took his time getting around to creating humans. And it wasn't just 200 million years but actually 4.5 billion years that our planet had existed. And then . . . when you figure that the universe is 13.7 billion years old, the notion of the earth and humans being specially created at the whim of a god suddenly made no sense to me.

That was it. I stopped believing in that instant. It wasn't deliberate; I couldn't help myself. For many EXvangelicals, deconstruction is a long and panful journey. They struggle mightily to find reasons to hang onto their faith, but in the end they cannot. That wasn't my experience. I believed in one moment and not in the next. I had no control over this. You can't force yourself to believe what you don't believe.

Although I had loved being a Christian, I no longer believed after that sudden and unanticipated momentary flash of insight. There was nothing more to my deconversion. Christians tend to assume that ex-believers were unhappy about their, perhaps, restricted lifestyles, but that wasn't true for me or for others whom I have encountered. 

For many, deconstruction is a most painful journey. For me, the shift was instantaneous and natural. I still attended church with the family for some time afterward and not unhappily.

I am not sad about having once believed or having been raised the way that I was. I am not mad at a god whom I don't believe exists. I simply don't believe although, oddly enough, I still love to sing the songs of Zion, as some might call them. Gospel music is the main music in my head, which I know is weird for an atheist.

What I I don't remember from those days is evangelicalism being as mean-spirited or so anti-intellectual. We graduated scholars from my youth group: scientists, doctors, professors and mere teachers like me. My late brother-in-law, for example, was a highly intelligent and educated professor who believed deeply. Non-belief isn't a matter of intelligence, but I suspect it is often a matter of being honest about confronting truth and reality.

I think that we come to the end of this sequence of posts at last. I hope that I have answered your questions.

=================

For the record, these are the posts that led to this one.

Remembering the Foo

Evangel Temple

It Bagan on Drummond Street

Onto the Queensway

Onto the Queensway

Not too long ago, I posted of some of my boyhood memories form Montreal, and they became mostly about church. Afterward, I  thought that perhaps I should post about my very first church in Toronto after we moved there. I then left it in the queue for a while because I had more current things to bother you with, but here it is after some hesitation.

Carrying on with my memories, mainly about my early church history, we moved from Montreal to Toronto in 1962, just a day or three before my 15th birthday. This city boy found himself living in a little cottage on a rural nursery where his father worked the greenhouses. Said boy — said introverted boy — found himself friendless in an almost foreign land, as it were. He even had to board a school bus to get to his new high school. He had scarcely seen a school bus in Montreal and, suddenly, after just one weekend, he was riding in one. And the school . . .  ah never mind . . .  let's get back to the church.

Somehow or other, we found someone to drive us to Queensway Cathedral, a pretty highfalutin name for a Pentecostal church. Hitching a ride was the only way to get there because this wasn't a place with good public transportation, and we didn't yet have a car. The church was really Lakeshore Gospel Temple for the first visits before the new building, Queensway Cathedral, was dedicated.

If I have the time frame correct, this was full 10 years after the inauguration of Evangel Temple. Like Evangel, the opening service with dignitaries and such occurred on a Sunday afternoon. Of course I remember more from being 15 years old in Toronto than I do from having been 5 years old in Montreal, 

Queensway Cathedral was founded as the Lakeshore Gospel Temple on High Street in 1955. In 1962, they moved into a new, larger church shaped like a geodesic dome at 1536 The Queensway.  https://www.etobicokehistorical.com/the-queensway.html

Let me tell you that t was a pretty impressive edifice, but I can't prove it from photos although I will show you a picture from our wedding in a bit. 

While specific photos of Queensway Cathedral in Toronto from the 1960s aren't readily available online, the church, now known as Church on The Queensway, is a prominent landmark on The Queensway in Etobicoke, a former municipality that was amalgamated into Toronto. (Google AI, emphasis mine)

Queensway Cathedral was where Sue and I got married in 1969. After the vows, we left Toronto and this particular church. Our wedding photo may give the reader some idea of the main sanctuary. Beyond the platform, there was a large back section containing a chapel and other good-size room for Sunday School and other events. It was a rather grand church in the 60s.

I sang in that choir loft a few times on Sunday Evenings, trying to sing the bass part in the back row.

Sue and I did get back to the QC every now and then a few times afterward when we visited our folks in Toronto, but my mother soon moved on to another, closer-to-her Church, so we haven't been there for a very long time — more than 50 years, I guess.

After we left Toronto, Queensway Cathedral grew yet again, so a grander, or at least a bigger church, was built on the same property. I have never been to the new building.

By 1984 they had outgrown this church and demolished it to make way for their current building on the same site. When this new church opened in 1985, it was the largest church auditorium in Canada, with seating for 4,000, two acres of carpeting covering the floors, one mile of pews, and television production capability. In 2013, the church was renamed “Church on the Queensway.”  https://www.etobicokehistorical.com/the-queensway.html

It has taken me four posts to get from passing Ruby Foo's in a bus in the 50s to getting married in 1969. While that should be more than enough of my ancient memories, readers have asked some questions about my faith or lack thereof. Perhaps, I will write one more post in answer.

Sundry Walky Pics

We don't know what we'll find on our walks; some days, it is nothing. On other days, we find a number of opportunities.

One day, as we sat on the park bench sipping our coffee, I noticed a bird in the crook of branches. It was shadowy, but it looked like a waxwing to me. I don't see many, so I asked Sue to take a photo with her longer zoom (in fact, my phone has no zoom at all). In post, I darkened the already shadowy bird and lighted the sky a bit to produce a silhouette effect.

Speaking of birds, on the very next day, from a bench along the trail, we spied a green heron out on the water. It was at a distance, but it is an unusual sighting, so we did our best. I believe it is only my second sighting ever.

Also along on the trail, we met a garrulous fellow named Gordie. He was with his wife and grandkids but let them keep on without him in order to have  long chat with us Sue. I thought that he might come home with us. I liked him and his beard best in b&w.

I have various photos of Sue on benches, but I don't think I've taken this photo before. I liked framing her between the trees.

Back at Riverside Park for a coffee and shady walk, we met another fellow. We'd had our coffee on a bench and then strolled up the park and back. On our return we heard bagpipes and eventually got to the piper, Robert. We both took photos.

Once again, mono seemed to be the best way forward after I was not overly pleased with the colour rendition.

After taking the candid shot ↑ we sat on the bench to listen further. After he stopped to rest, we Sue chatted with him. He took up piping in his senior years and classified himself as still a beginner, but we found his playing enjoyable. He posed for this photo ↓ but I prefer the first ↑ softer image

I took a short video of his playing, panning a little to also catch the canoes. Panning tilted the perspective; it is what it is.

He gave us Sue his business card. He wears a kilt for engagements.

That brings us to yesterday, which took us along our main street. I decided to take a photo of the front of townhall with flowers, signs and flags.

It was a very nice morning, not overly hot, so we walked a little farther onto the bridge where I took a photo with the church spire on the left and the trail bridge in the distance. As you can see, it was a lovely blue day.

There was also an unscheduled stop at the Blue Spoon Atelier for sourdough pesto parmesan bread and two sourdough cheese scones.