They hit me unexpectedly: the feels, I mean.
Danica is preparing to move into her own room in a townhouse in Ottawa with three other girls for her second year of university. She commuted during her freshman year, but since her car has been demolished, she has no alternative but to live close to the university. This really had been her plan all along, but there is no alternative now.
You know a milestone event is coming, but sometimes the reality just hits you out of the blue. The fact of the matter is that Danica will be leaving home.
The reality whammed me right between my metaphorical eyes. which I confess leaked, just a little. When the younguns leave, they leave, and nothing will ever be quite the same.
When Shauna left all those decades ago, it hit me more suddenly and even harder than this at the very last minute. We had taken her to get her room set up on the previous day and then brought her back home. Her friend pulled up in the driveway to take her away from home on the next morning. Suddenly, I was sobbing.
My psyche was better prepared for the second child to leave. I knew what to expect, and I dealt with it much better.
But now, Danica, my first grandchild, will be going: not until August and not far, but she will be leaving home, and nothing will ever be quite the same.
It's not the final step of her growing and going, but it is a seminal one.
Sigh, you are such a softy! Of course there's more to connect us to grandchildren through our phones, but it's not the same as your frequent game nights! Sorry it hit you so hard already.
ReplyDeleteAwww. I get it. I sobbed my eyes out when my first born got on a bus to go to school. I cheered when the second one went [well, sort of].
ReplyDeleteI still feel like my boys are too far away.
Oh, this is so touching. And I get it. It's not the same when they leave, even if they check in. And you are so close. That's extra hard. I have memories of my cousin breaking out into tears at a Mackinac Island fudge shop as she was sending fudge to her son, a week after he left home for college a few hours from their home. It just happens, those tears. I'm glad you can cry.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me feel weepy just reading it. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh dear. You could do those embarrassing unannounced visits. Or send a monthly shoe box care package to the new digs, with cookies and fun things. Kept me from feeling like I was abandoned. My son reported that if a shoe box arrived for his dorm mailbox, "friends" would follow it when he carried it to his room. Did it for his 10 day Scout Camp every year too. The leaders would badger him so much, I sent a box to the leaders a couple of times. Yep, it's hard when the object is to raise them so they don't need you. Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteI helped the YD lug her 'stuff' up to her freshman room and then got in the car for the drive back to our empty nest. And, yes, I cried. Neither of our two ever came home to stay, after they left for university. They dropped in between school term and work, but when they do not unpack, you know they have flown.
ReplyDeleteThey always return, not in the same way, but bringing fresh ideas and people with them.
ReplyDeleteMy eyes seem to leak easier and more frequently with each year. I have to remind myself, that raising them to be "in charge of themselves" is what we're supposed to do.
ReplyDeleteIt's a big transition but she's still Danica and you will continue to see her. I know that, after a bit of emotional venting, that you'll adjust. It does feel weird though. I remember watching my kids drive or fly away and feeling a sad emptiness.
ReplyDeleteI echo Margaret's comment.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, buddy. Gooder things are yet to come. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteIt's a difficult thing to see the kids move one. You will still see her and she is close to your heart.
ReplyDeleteMy eldest is moving into her first apartment around mid July. I'm not sure I'm ready for that either.
ReplyDeleteYep. They have to fly free.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to admit that our kids are leaving so when they leave it hits us. Other family changes hit me as well like divorces.
ReplyDeleteIt will be an adjustment for Danica as well and in time you will both adjust to the new normal.
ReplyDeleteOh goodness, that got me too. My daughter still lives with us, but I remember my mom telling me how she cried and cried when I moved out…watching my car drive away, when all that was on my mind was the adventure of being on my own. I wish I could go back and give her a big hug.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I get it.
ReplyDeleteI get it too. Sigh. Hang in there, sir, and cherish all the moments until then (and afterwards as they will only become even more precious).
ReplyDeleteIt is another step in her life and therefore yours. The closeness you have will ensure she will never be a stranger.
ReplyDeleteI've never forgotten leaving our son at the airport in Toronto!
ReplyDeleteWhen my older daughter left home, I was sort of … sort of OK with it. We still had our son taking a lot of our attention. But when he left, Art and I were suddenly staring at each other and realizing we needed to talk to each other. We had gotten so used to the kids monopolizing every conversation and it was more important for us to listen to them.
ReplyDeleteI think I've found the grandies moving on harder than my kids!
ReplyDeleteJordan is staying in Kingston. I wasn't ready for this!