Sunday, June 29, 2008

Cooking 101

When I retired from the daily grind of honest labour, Cuppa more or less retired from cooking, and we mutually agreed that I should take up that task. I say that she more or less retired from the chore because it wasn't a complete repudiation. She still cooks the occasional meal,for example, and almost always rounds up what is to be had for lunch. But if a meal is to be cooked from scratch, I am usually the one to do it — with mixed results I must confess. Unfortunately.

On the whole, I manage, but I do stumble at times, and something that I recently read in another blog reminded me of a faux pas from one of my early attempts.

Fortunately, many fine, instructive cookbooks exist, but as careful as some might be, they can still take certain things for granted. Exhibit A: I give you the lowly onion. How is an unkitchened man supposed to know that a green onion is not an ordinary onion of the kind that we always have about and regularly consume? They always looked kind of green to me. It took one recipe and one wife to teach me the difference.

I believe it was a linguine recipe, but whatever it was, I distinctly remember that it called for me to chop up six green onions. Which I thought were ordinary, yellow, cooking onions. So ... I commenced to chop ... and chop ...

As the mountain of onion grew, I began to grow rebellious. I was chopping my fifth onion, and the bowl was already overflowing. so when Cuppa entered the room, I cast my gaze from the onion hill to her and petulantly declared, "I don't care what the recipe calls for, I've chopped enough onions!"

It was then that my dear wife gently explained through tears of laughter the difference between green onions and yellow onions. Education is a wonderful thing.

14 comments:

womaninawindow said...

This is hilarious and so damned cute! You tried, brave one, you tried!

Love the new look of your blog. That photo of you speaks joy.

Coll said...

Oh A/C.. you have me laughing out loud at this one. And yet.. I can so relate. For what ever reason I seem to be completely lacking the cooking gene. Cook books and their instructions often leave me in a flap. :-)
But 6 onions.. OMG!!!!

Lisa said...

Too funny! I can just see the mountain of onions! Hopefully, you didn't use them all. hehe

Donna said...

LOLHahaha....It wasn't until I was 23, that I was finally told that pickles were made from cucumbers.....LOL...happy day!hughugs

Ginnie said...

You are a man of many talents, AC. I think it is both amazing and wonderful that you've taken over the cooking....what's a few extra onions in the overall picture?

KGMom said...

Ha ha--well, at least you quit before you had 6 onions chopped.
I am amazed that your eyes lasted that long.

mreddie said...

Onions and I have had many emotional moments - the Spice finally told me to cut the onions over the vent fan that pulls the odors down and out - less tears that way. ec

sare said...

Hehehhe... :) Thanks for the chuckle, and you may have trouble with onions - but, I've got to say that your roast of christmas past is SPOT on... mmmm, I'm hungry.

Pearl said...

:) good object lesson alright. whatever did you do with all those onions?

Judy said...

I feel your pain.

I did laugh, but still, I felt your pain.

For me it was 'three cloves of garlic'.

I thought the 'bulb' was a 'clove'.

Thankfully, my husband stopped me before I polluted the entire recipe.

Lorna said...

a totally understandable mistake, and a great story.

Kila said...

You had plenty of chopped onion ready for use!

daffy said...

Too funny AC but I still think your culinary skills will beat mine any day!

Janet said...

You win! That story tops my Triscuit splinter any day of the week.