Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Bloggers, Mom, and the Kids

In my last post, I made passing reference to the comings and goings in Blogland. That's the main reason why I don't keep a blogroll posted on this site. It became too irksome for me to try to keep it up to date. I do, however, have my own hidden blogroll, and if you have commented a few times, at least semi recently, you're on it.

Back in the summer, however, I made the decision to make some people on my roll inactive. In other words, if they visited, I would return the favour but I wouldn't see them on my regular rounds (which I do make quite faithfully even if I don't always do well at commenting). Of course, it came to pass that almost none of this particular group of bloggers ever came by again. I guess they also only paid return visits, and when I stopped, they stopped. That strikes me as a bit odd, because with very few exceptions, they first came to me. My unwritten rule is that if a new visitor comments, I will try to return the favour. If someone comments a few times, then I add her/him to my list and then proceed to refresh their blogs on a regular basis.

Anyway, the point is (well I'm not sure that I do have much of a point as I'm just sort of free-flowing here) that I kept these inactive links handy up until a few days go. At that point I made the rounds, wished them well for old time sake, and then deleted them. (BTW I may have wished you well at the same time without deleting you, so not to worry. If you happen by on any sort of semi regular basis, you're on the list.)

Life changes, frighteningly fast sometimes. In contrast to this group of bloggers who are still active but not with me, there is a whole other group of other bloggers out there to whom I have have kept and will keep links, even though they seldom write or comment any more. They are the ones who I'm pretty sure would or will still drop by if or when they decide to become active participants one again. I miss these folk: Cathy, Eric, Mimico Dale, Colorado Dale, Dave, PBS, Mapcap, Val and so on (yes, I could probably go on).

As the wheel turns, however, there have been new relationships forged in the past year or so: Ginnie, Pearl, KGMom, Pam, Lorna, Donna, Philip. Chris, Ruth, Chani and no doubt a few others who escape my senile recollections at the moment. I am glad for your presence, however long this relationship may endure, just as I am glad for the shorter list of those who have maintained this blogging endeavour for a long time: people such a Gina, Granny, Lynn, Karla, Colleen, EC etc (and some of these are beginning to wane). By golly Colleen, you have been stalwart!

There's no real point to this post: no denunciation, no rancor. I'm simply reflecting on the multitude of comings and goings, which we're all free to do. There may come a point when we all decide to move on. I have come close to that several times when keeping it all up seemed to be a drag, times when I wondered what to write but felt that I should do so in order to keep the blog somewhat current for those who might click in. It all seems to become a bit chore-like at times like that, but there are other times, when I am anxious and even fairly bursting to record my tiny thoughts. Some of my recent posts such as Onstage, A Touch of Redemption, and possibly The Good Neighbour fall into that category.

In some of these posts, I feel that part of what I do is to leave a bit of a record for my children. I wasn't exactly vaccinated with a gramophone needle (thanks for that phrase, Mom) and don't pass on that much to them orally, but there may come a time when they might want to know what old Dad thought about life. Here, every now and then at least, I leave some small clues for them.

My mother was a talker, and I appreciate many of her anecdotes about family and what life was like for her, Dad, and my grandparents. But I forget too and sometimes wish that she had written it down. She did keep photo albums and write notes in them, and for that I am very grateful, but I wish there was even more.

So ... I'm now going to cease my rambling and end a post that really has neither beginning nor end but is something of a stream of consciousness ... a stream that clearly and dearly requires damming ...

(PS: Sorry if you didn't make it on one the lists of bloggers. That's the problem with doing that. Someone is always overlooked.)

15 comments:

Gina said...

I'll be back, I just need to give myself permission not to comment EVERY time someone I know posts.

I'm too much of a blabbermouth to quit.

ChrisB said...

I've only been blogging for about 15 months and many of the bloggers I initially followed have dropped out of sight or only rarely comment. That's OK because I know a few who read regularly even when they are not actually posting, and I do the same. I look forward to people visiting me but I've learned not to expect a return visit. If I like what I read I keep returning with no expectations.
You can always keep me hooked with your lovely photos and Smudge's progress!

Heather said...

I forgive you for not including me on any lists. :-) I know you're a regular visitor to my blog and I am always a regular to yours, whether or not I comment.

Ginger said...

I'm a regular clicker-inner and always enjoy your thoughts, AC. Glad you're doing this as notes for your kids, as well. It matters a lot that there is someone out there who wants your legacy....

daffy said...

Posts don't always need to have a beginning, an end, or even a point for that matter. It's good to let your words flow and half of the time I do that, I have no idea where I'm going to finish off! I think like anything, blogging will always go through peaks and troughs and will always be valuable to the owner for different reasons. I haven't been blogging long on wordpress but I've been blogging for almost 3 years and I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am for the chance to 'meet' some of the nicest people I could ever imagine, who, in my day to day life I might not have interacted with. or them with me. I stumbled upon your blog when I was tag-surfing and I like to comment, where it goes from there is something I never know. Sometimes they remain 'a lone comment' other times they will be answered but the visit won't be returned. I don't mind. I have always said, to myself usually, how can you expect people to visit you if you don't 'get out there' and vist them! ;o)
Well, your post certainly got my grey matter working!

Ruth said...

As a relative newcomer, I have enjoyed your blog very much. While I like visiting blogging friends in the USA and around the world very much, my Canadian friends are extra special. I need to look at my links as well as some people are no longer posting. I check for new posts in my Google Reader every morning, even if I don't have time to comment.

peppylady said...

I was here a long time ago and enjoy what I saw on your blog.
I'm not sure when it comes to manners on how to respond to comment it would be impossible to visit every blog.

Kila said...

I hope you keep sharing your thoughts and memories for many posts to come. I do enjoy them.

karla said...

Raindrops was one of the first blogs I came across when I started this whole adventure, and over the years, it is still a favourites. Articulate, witty, fun, and now, smothered with gorgeous photos of little smudge.

Sue said...

I read you regularly, I'm just not much of a commenter. I maintain my blogroll in Bloglines, which seems to work well - often I read posts within Bloglines itself rather than actually visiting a blog (though I have to visit to comment). It tells me whenever one of my subscribed blogs has a new post, so I also don't waste time visting a blog that hasn't been updated just to see if it has.

I do go through it every so often, and unsubscribe from blogs that I find myself not enjoying any more. And I have a section of 'just trying' or 'rarely updated' blogs, which aren't on my public blogroll (ie not linked from my blog) but which appear in Bloglines, so I read them too.

I guess everyone does this differently... it's a strange part of blogging, really. I only started for the sake of family back home, and was quite surprised when I started seeing other visitors :-)

thailandchani said...

I still come around.. but typically don't comment on the family related posts. Something like this is what makes me come out of lurkdom.

Reciprocity makes sense to me and I do have at least a vague sense of who comes, who goes and who stops abruptly. Sometimes I try to figure out why and sometimes I don't.

Google Reader has changed blogrolls a lot. My blogrolls are on a linked page to my site now.. (you're on it) and I read primarily from the Google Reader (which you are also on).

I find that I'm the type who rarely moves on.. although lately I haven't been commenting as much as I used to. With the number of blogs on my blogroll and in the GR, it was taking me up to 3 hours a day to comment on all of them.

Pam said...

I know what you mean about having something to say one day and not the next, so I try to just go with the flow. But I don't want to give it up, I have friends here and I enjoy them enormously, you included.

And it's a journal of sorts, something worth keeping. My granddaughters have printed out all of my blogs and put them in plastic sleeves in a notebook. For now it's quick access to my blog, someday it will be a memory of me.

Coll said...

Did you know that I print out most of my blog posts and each individual year has its own three ring binder. They are starting to make quite the pile in my closet. Some day I hope that my children and grandkids may find and read them and come to know me even better than they thought they did. For that reason I try to keep my words and my recordings true to myself. And for that reason I still am finding this whole experience very rewarding. The fact that I have made such wonderful friendships along the way has been an unexpected pleasure.

Valerie - Still Riding said...

Don't miss me! I'm here!

But if this comment posts it's almost a miracle.

I have had the darndest time with comments lately - can't see the graphics for the letters to type or they time out or something...

I heart you, glad Cuppa is back in blogland.

Granny said...

I'm trying to remember how we met and darned if I can. I just know you were one of my earliest visitors.

Thanks for not giving up on me (yes I noticed "granny" still made your list). I fall behind, catch up, fall behind, catch up once again.

I love the pictures of your daughter and the Smudge in your later post.

Now I'll go catch up with Cuppa.