Not too very long ago, I watched Oprah and Dr Robin Smith counsel a couple regarding their impending marriage. The couple was in their thirties; the bride-to-be was experiencing some little doubts and reservations. Oprah was adamant that you always listen to that little voice. Smith believes that you shouldn't get married until you could show up in truth. I probably recall and summarize dimly and inadequately, but that is more or less the sum and substance as I remember it.
I admire both ladies, their intelligence and perspicacity. Robin is amazing, and Oprah is ... well, she's Oprah, and I would be foolish to argue against either. Of course, you should listen to your inner voice; of course, you should show up to the marriage as a truthful, genuine, and engaged person. To some extent, however, I couldn't help but feel that both ladies were running their agendas. Oprah exults about never being married, and it was my sense that she wished that for others. Dr Smith appeared to have had a less than satisfactory marriage and may have been projecting her experiences onto this couple. Perhaps not: they are both much more intelligent than I. Besides that, I have my own filters that are too often wrong.
It's not all about character, I suppose, but character is very important in my little opinion. You can be young, not fully formed, but if you have character and integrity, you can make it work. Not that I'd advise youth to rush into the holy state ... I'm just saying that it's possible. It's possible, even against the odds.
Cuppa and I celebrated our 37th anniversary yesterday. Good grief. Obviously, we married young, and, just as obviously, we made a go of it. It wasn't a struggle against all odds either. In fact, it has been a rather smooth voyage, not one over choppy waters, not one that tempest-tossed us mercilessly in squally seas.
Yes, I think that character, commitment, integrity, and sincerity are pretty darn important, and I rather think that Oprah and Dr Robin would agree. We're probably not even saying anything really different, maybe just emphasizing different sides of the same coin of truth.
The old couple enjoying a mountaintop experience in Sedona, Arizona.